


I Know the Last Page So Well I Can't Read the First

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, F/F, F/M, Family, Friendship, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-16
Updated: 2011-10-16
Packaged: 2017-10-24 16:33:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 31,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/265581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No one was going to see her sweat, stumble, or stutter.  Erin might have her issues but Agent Strauss was in complete control.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Know the Last Page So Well I Can't Read the First

**Author's Note:**

> My basic thought when I first started this was ‘Rossi & Strauss do Castle’. As per usual with AUs, all characters have appeared on Criminal Minds in the past five seasons, except for Kirk Douglas and Ted Bixby, who are from my imagination. Jimmy Palmer is from NCIS, but I love him so much and knew he would add just what I wanted to the scene he's in. The title of the story comes from the Nada Surf song, The Inside of Love. Thanks to runriggers, kosmickway, and took_skye, who all beta’d this in some form or fashion since its inception.

For the first time in a decade, Erin Strauss had her mind on vacation. She wasn’t just thinking about it; there was a chance she would seriously consider it. Erin was tired and a good night’s sleep wasn’t boosting her energy level like it used to. She’d just come off a difficult case…a bank heist quickly devolved into Reservoir Dogs. In the end, four people were dead, two in jail, and two missing along with $300,000. Erin hated that two of the thieves and the money got away but she would find them.

The case wasn’t closed; the cap was just on it for now. She had an acquaintance over at Treasury keeping an eye on the money. A pal at Interpol checked on international travel and movement. She even knew a reformed con artist and sometimes counterfeiter who promised to give Erin a call if she heard anything about passports, birth certificates, and the like.

Then she asked Erin when would she just surrender and allow herself to be wooed like she’d never been wooed before. Erin said she didn’t date criminals, no matter how reformed. Elle thought everyone deserved a second chance.

Sighing, Erin put all her crap down on the desk. Her soft briefcase sat amongst the barrage of paperwork and junk. The mess on her desk irked her soul…Erin Strauss was a bit of a neat freak. She put her wet umbrella in the trash can, grabbed her mug, and headed for the kitchen.

“Erin?”

“Hmm?” She brought herself from inside her head and looked at her Unit Chief. Jason knew better than to talk to her before coffee. No one else had said as much as good morning to her…her team knew her well. His blatant disregard for this simple but essential rule meant something was up. Yeah, vacation was sounding more and more like the way to go.

“I need to see you in my office please.” Jason waved her over with his hand.

Erin looked around to see if anyone was paying attention but most of the office was just getting settled. No one cared that she had been called into the principal’s office.

“Please let me get my coffee, Gideon. I'm begging you.”

“You don’t have to beg…five minutes.”

She nodded, hustling toward the kitchen. Derek Morgan moved over to share counter space. Erin poured a cup and then added caramel flavored liquid Coffee Mate. Morgan yawned, passing the sugar. He thought twice, put the sugar down, and handed her Splenda instead.

“Thanks. Long night?”

“Huh?”

“You’re yawning…had a long night.”

“Sometimes I start the weekend early.” Derek replied.

“What's her name?”

“It’s not always about a girl. I have a variety of other interests that keep me busy.” Morgan replied. He looked at Erin and she cocked an eyebrow. “OK, her name is Tina, but for real just cuz it’s about a girl this time doesn’t mean that it’s always about a girl.”

“Mmm hmm.” Her face went from playful, Erin’s version of playful, to serious. “I'm getting pulled into the principal’s office. Do you know anything about it?”

“Nope.” Morgan shook his head. “We've been closing cases left and right so it can't be that. Maybe he just wants to congratulate you on the bank job.”

“How come I seriously doubt that?” she mumbled as she left the kitchen.

She didn’t know what to expect and hated the feeling. Knocking on the door, Erin took a deep breath as she waited to be invited in.

“You wanted to see me, Gideon.” She poked her head in, wearing the picture perfect smile.

“Yeah, come in Erin and close the door.”

She did, sitting across from him in one of the guest chairs. There was another man in the room, he looked familiar to her, but he seemed to be paying no attention to what they were doing. Erin focused on Jason.

“You did an excellent job on the Dubois case.” He said, leaning back in his chair. “It was due mostly to your neverending dedication that so much was resolved.”

“It’s not solved.” Erin replied. “That’s probably what’ll stick in my craw. Those two criminals are still out there with almost half a million dollars. No matter how long it takes I’ll find them. Also, my whole team put in a lot of work on this one. There were long days and sleepless nights. I can't, and won't, take full credit for all that was accomplished.”

“I know that Erin.” Jason nodded. “The Bureau has always loved that about you.”

“You didn’t call me in here just to pat me on the back.” She said it like a statement. Something was going on and Erin didn’t like being in the dark.

“You're one of the top agents in the Bureau.” Jason replied. “You’ve won Field Agent of the Year three times…a record.”

“Thank you. I love my job, period. I always have and that’s never going to change. Is it? You should know me well enough to know I can't stand beating around the bush. Just tell me what you need to tell me, Gideon.”

“This is David Rossi.”

She followed her boss’ eyes to the man in the corner of the room. He still looked unconcerned with the happenings around him.

“Agent David Rossi?” Erin asked, extending her hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“The pleasure is mine, Agent Strauss.” Dave matched her firm handshake.

“You're a legend around here.” She said. “The boys talk about you all the time.”

“Everything you heard is probably true.”

“I surely hope not.” She managed a smile. “I thought you retired five years ago. Are you returning to the Bureau? I would think you’d want to be back in the BAU.”

“Agent Rossi is a full-time writer now.” Gideon said. “He’s written some fascinating, and slightly fantastical works, on profiling and several high-profile cases he’s been a part of or observed. Now he’s decided to write a fictional account of the FBI.”

“That sounds interesting.” It didn’t really but what else was she supposed to say.

“He has friends in high places who decided that this was the perfect way to show the Bureau in a positive light and to boost recruitment.”

“No offense, but do we really want a bunch of suspense thriller fans rushing to join the Bureau?” she glanced back at Rossi. “Will it be a suspense thriller?”

“I haven’t decided all the details yet, but mostly,” he replied.

“Agent Rossi has requested and been granted permission to shadow you, Agent Strauss.” Jason said. He almost smiled…he knew what was coming.

“I'm sorry, what?”

“He wants to shadow you. He wants his new character to be a top-notch female FBI Agent. The people who sit in big offices think that’s brilliant. They're already imagining movie deals. You remember what _The Silence of the Lambs_ did for female recruitment.”

“Well I'm not interested." Erin shook her head. “He wants to make me into a character for a book?” she asked. “It doesn’t make any sense; absolutely not.”

“They're not asking, Erin. Agent Rossi is here for the duration.”

“The duration of what?” The disdain crept into her voice but she didn’t care.

“He's researching for his novel.” Jason seemed satisfied with Erin’s anger. He shot Rossi a glance that the former Agent ignored. “It could take time.”

“With all due respect,” Erin stood up. “I don’t like this. I'm sure the powers that be don’t care what I think but I want that down on the record. I'm a busy woman; I don’t have time to baby-sit a writer.”

“I've been in the FBI, Agent Strauss; I can watch my own ass.” Dave replied.

“I'm glad to hear that. Can I go now, sir, I need to heat up my coffee and get started on all that paperwork?”

“Sure. Agent Rossi starts his assignment on Monday. Please do your best to accommodate him.”

“Mmm hmm.”

Without another word, Erin walked out of his office and back into the bullpen. That vacation sounded more and more like a good idea.

“Damn, Jason, why didn’t you just hand her the stake and tell her where to stab me?” Dave asked.

“You're being dramatic.” Jason put on his glasses and looked at the file in front of him. He would make sure that the paperwork Rossi brought to him had all crossed t’s and dotted i’s.

“I guess it’s just the writer in me. But seriously, this is your team…they follow your vibe. Your vibe says that I'm the enemy when I'm nothing of the sort. I used to be where she is.”

“You're not anymore…you're a writer.”

“Dammit, Jason, you're a writer!”

“You know we don’t write the same things. That’s like comparing apples and oranges.”

Jason Gideon was an accomplished writer of articles and manuals that the Bureau used to this day. He was prolific and quite popular amongst their brethren. He’d traveled all over the country and the world lecturing on crime, criminals, and the criminal mind. To some, Jason Gideon was the face of the American FBI.

“You know I’d still be in the Bureau if I could be. I think this book is a good idea; Kirk thinks it’s a good idea. But if you give me your ass to kiss so will everyone else in that bullpen. Let’s not go there.”

“I'm protective of my people, Dave.” Jason said.

“I know, and I respect that. I'm not gonna step on your agents’ toes; I'm not gonna step on yours. But please don’t treat me like a bitch. That really pisses me and it’s doubly so because you know I hate that. We can all get along if we just maintain respect and boundaries.”

“Perhaps you should be having this conversation with Erin and not me.” He replied. “I'm not planning to step on your toes.”

Dave looked at him, wanted to say something but knew it wasn’t worth it. Jason was notoriously untouchable; at least in this kind of situation. It was hard to win a fight with him unless the fists were flying. And an angry Jason Gideon might even win in fisticuffs. Dave sighed and headed out of the office and into the bullpen. Erin was already at her desk, knee deep in coffee and paperwork. Putting on his best smile, Dave walked up to her desk and sat in the chair beside her.

“Hello.”

“Agent Rossi, I'm sorry but this seems silly to me. Are you really going to just sit there for a few months and observe me for a book? What is this, really? Is the Bureau secretly reviewing me?”

“I'm writing a novel, that’s what this is. I'm hoping to go out in the field with you when the time comes. I want to talk to you about your job and the Bureau. I want to get to know your team; I hope to get to know you. I'm not here to annoy you, Agent Strauss…I'm a serious writer.”

“I know you are; I've read some of your work. The book on the Manson Family is compelling. You show them in a whole new light without a touch of sensationalism. OK, maybe a little touch.”

“Thank you.” he nodded, smiling.

“But you’ve been in the FBI for a long time and I hear there are three ex-wives in your past so you surely know women. You're a writer; make it up like they all do.”

“I'm doing this for authenticity.” Dave replied. “It’s important. I've written many books but this is my first venture into the fictional world. I think this story can light a fire under a stale genre.”

“A female FBI Agent isn’t exactly uncharted territory.” Erin said.

“Trust me; this will be different. There's no point in writing the same old, same old.” He grinned. “I'm really excited…this will be fun.”

“I'm not here to have fun, Agent Rossi. I'm here to work; there's surely enough to do.”

“Can't you do both?” he asked.

The way she looked at him made Dave gulp. The last woman who looked at him that way, his second wife, set fire to his clothes. There was nothing good about that look. Maybe she’d have some time to warm up to the idea over the weekend.

***

She argued with herself for hours, back and forth, until she had a headache. Erin convinced herself that the headache was caused by Morgan and Reid’s bickering about _Star Wars_ instead of the phone call she was about to make. Believing everything in the Bureau to be tapped or bugged, Erin grabbed her purse and told the boys she’d be back. They looked up for a moment as she walked to the elevator and then went back to their Darth Somebody or other argument.

On the way downstairs she argued with herself some more but knew what she had to do. She went out the side door of the lobby, the one you had to swipe your ID to get in and out. All the agents who smoked used the little alley on the side of the building. They hated being out front in the open facing scrutiny. A little privacy worked better for them.

Erin lit a Marlboro Mild and pressed 6 on her Blackberry. He was still on speed dial…she really needed to change things on her phone. She hung up before it even rang, took a deep breath, and chastised herself for being an idiot. There weren't many things that could turn a mature 43 year old woman into an unsure bundle of nerves. She pressed six again, hoping for voicemail.

“Hello, Erin.” He answered.

“Hi. I um…it’s been a long time.” she cleared her throat.

“Yeah, it has. Refresh my memory on the last time?”

“Milwaukee.”

“Oh right, how could I forget about that?” he asked.

“It was over five years ago, Aaron. I wasn’t encroaching on your territory…they called me in before they knew hearts were missing. That little clue was when the BAU joined the case. I'm not a profiler and have never pretended to be. I was just doing a favor for someone I knew at that field office.”

“It’s bygones.”

“I'm really thinking its not.” Erin replied.

“Five years is too long not to hear from someone you....” Hotch stopped, sighing. “How's Ted doing? He must practically be a grownup now.”

“He’ll be 14 years old in a few months and he’s still too smart for his own good. If you can believe it, he’s starting high school in the fall.”

“High school?” Hotch whistled. “Stop it, you're making me feel old.”

“I need to talk to you about something.” Erin said. She was in no mood to traipse down memory lane. She usually ended up falling and breaking something.

“Good guy or bad guy?”

“I'm not sure…what can you tell me about David Rossi.”

“Rossi is third on the modern FBI legend scale.” Hotch told her.

“I don’t know what that means.”

“Kirk Douglas, Jason Gideon, and David Rossi are the modern FBI legends. Don’t let Max Ryan find out his name isn’t on that list though I think deep down he already knows it.” Hotch smirked. “Rossi taught me a lot, not as much as Jason, but he was an amazing agent. After he was forced into retirement, which was for his own good, he started writing. His books are good; he’s done a lot to spotlight and glorify profiling.”

“I think it’s the glorify part that pisses some people off.” Erin replied. “It’s why people don’t like him, or that show on CBS.”

“I can admit to not being comfortable with why some cadets choose to join our ranks. But I can only hope that time and experience helps them grow into responsible, respectable agents. We were all newbies once…remember Erin.”

She wasn’t going to think about that right now, there were other matters at hand.

“Well I don’t know if you knew but Agent Rossi has decided to try his hand at fiction.”

“I hadn't heard.” Hotch replied.

“His heroine will be a top-notch female FBI Agent.” She said.

“So that’s true.”

“What's true?”

“I’d heard some mumbling about Rossi returning to the Bureau to write a book. I knew he wasn’t coming back to work but when I tried to talk to him about it, he was purposely evasive.”

“He will be shadowing me for the duration…whatever that means.”

“Jason can't be pleased with that.” Hotch said.

“He doesn’t seem to be but you know how hard he is to read sometimes.”

“The powers that be appreciate Dave’s books. They show the Bureau in a positive light and encourage recruitment. Highlighting a tough female Agent is probably right up their alley these days.”

“I'm not that tough.” Erin replied.

“Tell it to someone who doesn’t know you.”

“Aaron…”

“Erin…”

She laughed some when they spoke at the same time. Hotch didn’t respond at all. Taking the last deep inhale of her cigarette and plucking it, she knew it was time to end this.

“I have to go, paperwork is piling up.”

“Don’t be a stranger.” He said, knowing that she would be. He was a profiler after all.

“It works both ways, Aaron, it always has. Goodbye.”

“Bye.”

Erin listened to the phone beep and then go dead when he disconnected. Cursing to herself, she realized she hadn't even asked the most important question. Opening up a text message, Erin quickly typed.

‘ _How should I handle David Rossi_?’ –Erin

‘ _Keep all hands and feet inside the car until the ride comes to a complete stop. Good luck_.’ –Aaron

Oh God, that’s what she was afraid of.

***

“What can you tell me about Erin Strauss?”

“Damn Rossi, I was looking forward to getting to know you better. Too bad we’ll only be talking for ten minutes.”

“Really?” Rossi smirked. “It’s that bad?”

“It’s not bad per say. Erin and I have been working together for 7 years and she’s definitely one of the best agents in the field today. Her personal life though, I don’t know anything about it.”

“She has a son.” Reid said with his mouth full of meatloaf.

It was Meatloaf Madness day at the FBI cafeteria. Reid couldn’t get enough of it but Morgan settled for a burger. Dave wasn’t hungry; a cheese Danish and coffee was fine for him. He decided to leave Erin alone for a while.

It was Wednesday, Day Three of this shadowing thing. She didn’t like it at all. While she did paperwork to wrap up the Dubois bank case it was easy for Erin to ignore him. Instead of Dave getting upset about it he just hung out with the boys…they were happy to have him.

“His name is Ted right?” Dave added more sugar to his coffee.

“Yeah, Ted.” Reid nodded. “He's twelve I think…I've only met him once.”

“How long have you been in the FBI, Agent Reid?”

“Three years but I've been in Violent Crimes for two. I wanted to work with Gideon.”

“Hmm.” Rossi nodded. He looked at Morgan. “Do you know anything about Erin’s son?”

“His name is Ted but he's 13, not twelve. He’s a nice kid; an artist. It’s kinda funny to see him next to Erin, who’s so prim and proper. He dresses somewhere between Goth and skater and has a wicked sense of humor. He must have gotten that from her late husband. I can count on one hand the number of jokes Erin’s cracked over the years.”

“Did you say late husband?” Dave asked. “She's a widow?”

“I think so.” Morgan replied, drinking his water.

“You think so?” he raised his eyebrow.

“I told you that Erin doesn't talk about her personal life. She used to be married; I know that. He was a writer, journalist or something. I think he was killed covering something in Afghanistan. I don’t remember her mourning or missing work but it was early in the war. That was before we worked together.”

“Does she date?” Dave asked.

“Whoa,” Morgan held up his hands. “Danger, Will Robinson. I doubt it.”

“Well…”

Both Rossi and Morgan looked at Reid.

“Reid, you know something?” Morgan asked. “You know something and you’ve never told me. I look out for you and that’s how you do me?”

“I don’t know anything.” He said quickly. “I guess I mean I don’t think I know anything. I just…sometimes she and Gideon look at each other. I've known Gideon since college; he doesn’t look at anyone the way I've seen him look at her.”

“Since college?” Rossi asked. “Didn’t you graduate a few minutes ago? No offense.”

“None taken. I graduated from college when I was 16. I've known Gideon since I was 14 and entering my freshman year at UNLV.”

“Reid’s a super genius.” Morgan replied. “Make sure that goes in the book.”

“I’ll see what I can do. OK, so let’s see if I have all of this. She's a widow with a teenaged son who sometimes gets the look of love from her boss.”

“Pretty much.” Morgan nodded.

“C'mon guys, you're FBI agents and that’s all you can give me? That’s a little sad.”

“You're the famous profiler.” Reid countered. “You can profile Agent Strauss.”

“She won't let me get close enough.” Rossi said.

“Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the electric fence and razor wire around her.” Morgan said. “Watch yourself…she’s high voltage.”

“I appreciate the warning.” Rossi rolled his eyes. “Can you at least tell me her favorite color?”

“Crème.” Morgan replied.

“I was gonna say purple.” Reid said.

“This might be more complicated than I thought.”

There had to be someone who knew something about Erin Strauss. Dave wanted to write about the FBI Agent surely, but he was also hoping to infuse some of her personality, her strengths into the character. Otherwise, she was right…he could just make it up.

***

The door buzzed and Erin walked over to look out of the peephole. Muttering an expletive under her breath, she rolled her eyes. She quickly walked back into the kitchen where Ted was contemplating which cereal to start his morning with.

“He’s at the door.” She said. “I can't believe he came here.”

“Mom, please be more specific. He’s at the door…God, Frank Sinatra, the maintenance guy?”

“David Rossi.”

“Did you let him in?” Ted asked.

“No, I…” Erin didn’t know what to say. “I have to go upstairs and get dressed. You let him in and…”

“Stall him?”

Erin smirked; he was too damn smart for his own good. That was probably her fault. Not even bothering to answer, she just walked out of the room. When the door buzzed again, Ted went over and answered it. Dave stood on the other side with a cup of coffee.

“Hello.” He said.

“Hi, c'mon in.”

Dave followed the teenager into the kitchen and watched him stand over a bowl of cereal. For a while they just stared at each other.

“Is your mom here?” Dave asked.

“Oh yeah, she’s just getting dressed.”

“Did she tell you about me?”

“She told me that you want to write a book about her, which I think is pretty awesome. I might be biased but I’d buy that.”

“Well, it’s not exactly a book about her. I'm thinking about writing a suspense novel and I thought it was time to blow the lid off the genre with a realistic female character.”

“Wait…you’re using my mom as inspiration for a fictional character?”

“Yeah.” Dave nodded. “I'm sorry; I didn’t even properly introduce myself. David Rossi.” He extended his hand.

“Ted Bixby.” He firmly shook his hand. “And I know who you are; I've read some of your books.”

“No you haven’t.” Dave smiled.

“No, for real I have. I love your book on the Charleston Slasher. It wasn’t some boring, cheesy true crime book; it was good. I like your writing style, the prose and conversation.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously; just don’t tell my mom. She’d freak if she knew I was reading serial killer books. She already worries about me too much.”

“Why?” Dave asked.

“Look at me, Agent Rossi.”

The kid was about 5’6” with reddish brown hair that was a little too long. He wore blue jeans with smudges all over them; it seemed to be ink or marker. He was wearing a Smiths tee shirt that had been washed probably close to a million times and had a hole in it. His Chucks had also seen better days. He looked like the kind of kid who wouldn’t care if his toe eventually poked out. The only thing that immediately reminded Dave of Erin was his eyes…he had his mother’s soft blue eyes.

“I'm looking. What am I supposed to see?”

“I'm a weirdo.”

“You are?”

“That’s what I hear.” Ted said. “I don’t care but sometimes I'm sure my mom wishes I just wore normal kid clothes and did normal kid things.”

“I'm sure she’s proud of you.” Dave said. “In fact I know she’s proud of you. She has your artwork on her desk at work.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I think she would probably brag more about you and be really obnoxious too if she weren't so…”

“I know exactly what you mean.” Ted nodded with a knowing smile. “Want some Frosted Cheerios?”

“No, I'm good.” Dave held up his hand.

“So, do we get to hear about this awesome novel or are you keeping it under wraps?” Ted asked.

“Its in the early stages…I don’t want to give too much away. Your mom is a great subject though; I'm learning a lot from her.”

He would learn more if she actually talked to him beyond the niceties. And even they weren't always so nice. Dave started carrying a chisel with him. The plan was to chip away at her until he reached something resembling kindness. That could be an exhaustive mission.

Ted was about to say something when Erin came down the stairs and around the corner. She walked toward the kitchen holding her shoes in her hand. He watched Dave’s coffee cup stop halfway to his lips, linger, and then he just put it down altogether.

“Good morning, Agent Rossi.” Erin’s tone was formal. “You didn’t have to come to pick me up.”

“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you to call me Dave. Agent Rossi is dead.”

“What happened to him?” Ted asked.

“He was shot four times in New Mexico.” Dave replied.

“No shit, really?”

“Ted, watch your language.”

“Sorry mom. Were you really?”

“I was.” Dave nodded solemnly. He looked at Erin. “Blue is a good color on you…it brings out your eyes.”

“Thanks. I'm about to head out, kiddo. What's the plan for today?”

“Jordan and Jonny are coming over so we can consume massive amounts of drugs, have crazy sex, and listen to our music too loud. You know…the usual.”

“You,” she caressed his face, kissing him. “Are the sole reason I dye my hair. You’re giving me gray hairs, Edward.”

“I know; its fun.” He smiled. “Be careful out there, and if you have to kick someone’s ass please remember to be gentle with your left hand.”

“What’s wrong with her left hand?” Dave asked.

“Nothing.” Erin quickly answered. “I'm fine.” She turned back to her son. “Watch your language, Edward. Don’t play the music too loud and try not to get ink on the carpet. Please.”

“Cross my heart.” He did and put on a perfect smile. “Love you mom.”

That’s when Dave saw it; he smiled just like his mother too. Erin rustled his hair, told him she loved him too, and walked past Dave toward her front door.

“One question, Ted.” Dave lowered his voice.

“Yeah?”

“Tell me one thing that never fails to make your mother smile.”

“Genesis music…hands down.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yep.” Ted nodded. “It was nice to meet you.”

“You too.”

“Are you coming, Agent Rossi?”

“I'm right behind you.”

They left the condo and headed to the elevator together. Rossi wasn’t sure what to say so he just repeated himself.

“Blue really does look good on you.”

“I don’t go to work to be beautiful; I go to do a job.”

“I never said you were beautiful. I just said blue looked good on you.”

Erin glanced at him and Rossi put on a smile. She tried, she really did, but her own smile broke through the badass veneer. They got on the elevator and pushed L.

“I don’t want you to hate me.” He said. “I think we could work well together.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“Good. I know this isn’t the most ideal assignment and your Unit Chief has already made it clear he’d rather not have me around. If we can just get along, get some things done, I can get out of your hair and back to my world.”

“What world is that, Agent Rossi?”

“Really, Erin, I mean it…you've got to stop calling me that. The FBI was a long time ago and I left it behind. I'm just Dave now. I know you might be doing it out of spite or perhaps formality but I don’t like it…seriously. Please respect that. I've respected every boundary that you put up.”

That wasn’t quite true, as she hadn't told him where she lived yet there he was. It sounded good coming out of his mouth though.

“David then.” She replied

“What?”

“I’ll call you David…if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind.” He shook his head.

“Fine, it’s settled. You're David, and I'm…”

“Goliath?”

That made her laugh. It sounded melodic and effortless but they’d known each other for almost two weeks and he’d never heard it before. He liked it a lot and as the elevator slowly moved down the floors he thought of other ways to make her do that. Apparently he was going to have to catch her off guard with his superior wit. Hmm, he could do that.

“And by the way, you haven’t respected a single boundary yet.” She said.

“I knew you'd call me on that. I plan to try just like you do.”

“Mmm hmm.” Erin wouldn’t hold her breath.

***

“We've got a body.” Jason said when Erin walked into his office on a stifling Monday morning in the last week of July.

“Where?”

She managed to relax over the weekend. Spending time with Ted and avoiding Dave Rossi like the clap had been good for her. Now it was as good as gone.

“Shenandoah National Park; rangers found it about 90 minutes ago. We have jurisdiction.”

“Is there anything special about it I should know?” she asked.

“It’s dead.”

“Cute, Jason. Do I have to take James Patterson along?”

She crossed her arms and Jason suppressed a snicker. He wasn’t usually the joking type, though people surely knew almost immediately if he liked them or not. Jason knew that Erin had not been happy since Dave Rossi’s arrival at their office. He wasn’t either but he knew neither one of them could do anything about it.

The least he could do was make her smile. He’d loved Erin’s smile since the first time he saw it. She should do it more. Jason knew he should as well but there was still time for Erin.

“Rossi is shadowing you to see how you work in the field, so yes. He's going with you and I want you to be nice to him.”

“What do I get in return for all the hard work that’s gonna take?”

“Dinner.”

“You want to take me to dinner?” Erin asked.

“I know you prefer my cooking so no, I don’t want to take you to dinner. Is lobster ravioli still one of your favorites?”

“Absolutely.” She nodded.

It had been a long time since Jason cooked for her. They used to eat, talk shop; talk about anything. He was one of the few people Erin could open up to about her thoughts and feelings. But the relationship had never been mutual. Jason Gideon was a nearly closed book.

After a while Erin realized that as much as she loved complicated cases at work, falling in love with one was a very bad idea. She backed off. They never officially said they were together or that they’d broken up. It just was one day, and then it wasn’t. Sometimes she really missed him...missed having someone to blow off steam with. It could get very lonely doing this and having to handle all the junk on your own.

“Good.” Jason smiled again and then his face turned serious. “Let’s make sure we put this case in the win column. The Department of the Interior doesn’t take kindly to bodies being dumped on their territory.”

Erin nodded, walking out of the office. She looked at Morgan and Reid who were playing that silly hand slapping game instead of working on the paperwork piling up on their desks. To have such a quick mind, Spencer seemed to have lousy reflexes.

“We've got a body.” She said.

“Where?” Morgan grabbed his gun from the locked drawer.

“It was found at Shenandoah National Park. Hey Rossi, you're with me.”

He was already up and ready. Morgan and Reid headed to the elevator.

“Morgan, do you know the way?” she asked.

“Everyone knows how to get to Shenandoah. $25 says I beat you there.”

“Double or nothing on no GPS.” Erin replied. She was strapping on her secondary piece.

“It’s on.” Morgan said as the elevator door closed.

“What's the case?” Rossi asked as they walked to the elevator.

“There's a body in Shenandoah National Park.”

“What kind of body?”

“A dead one.” She looked at him.

“Fascinating.”

“It might not be novel-worthy but surely enough to keep me from getting home to eat dinner with Ted for a little while.”

They stepped onto the elevator as the doors opened.

“Can you tell me how you feel when you get a call, Erin?”

“What do you mean?”

“Does your pulse quicken? Do your palms get sweaty or your heartbeat accelerate? Do you get the female equivalent of a hard-on?”

“I beg your pardon?” she gave him the evil eye.

“I knew guys who got that excited about a case.” He said.

“Well I'm not a guy. I love my job, and yes it can be exciting, but it doesn’t make me wet.”

The door opened and they started walking through the lobby.

“I have one more question.”

“Just one more? Are you sure?” Erin sighed as she signed out.

“Are we going to beat Morgan and Reid to Shenandoah?”

“Is the Pope Catholic?”

“Well I know this great shortcut…”

“Oh no, you are not going to ruin my chances of getting there with some back road that’s probably washed out from the storms. I have this all under control.”

“Fair enough.”

Rossi nodded, signing out and following Erin to the parking lot.

“Do you like AC/DC, Rossi?” she asked.

“They have their moments. Strip clubs for one. Why?”

“You’ll see.”

000

Erin pulled over to the side of the road, cutting the ignition. _Highway to Hell_ played the entire way to the park. She practically blasted it as she prepared herself to go out in the field. No one in this job that was still in their right mind enjoyed dead bodies. And since Strauss worked violent crimes, the things she saw sometimes kept her up at night.

Angus’s riffs and Bon’s provocative vocals always put her in the zone. She was an FBI Agent, she was one of the best, and she would handle anything this job threw her way. No one was going to see her sweat, stumble, or stutter. Erin might have her issues but Agent Strauss was in complete control. She reached into the backseat for her bag, grabbing a pair of grey New Balance sneakers. Rossi looked at her.

“Why didn’t you tell me to bring an extra pair of shoes?” he asked.

“I wasn’t going to drive you home and then drive to the park. A, I wouldn’t have beaten Morgan and b, the case takes precedence over your footwear.”

“These are $600 Italian leather shoes, Erin.”

“You can stay in the car if you don’t want to ruin them. Its OK, I understand.”

“I'm not staying in the car.”

“Alright then.”

She climbed out and so did he. They approached the park ranger waiting a few feet away.

“I'm SSA Erin Strauss; this is David Rossi.”

“It’s nice to meet you both.” She shook their hands. “I'm Ranger Lizzie Evans. We found the body about a quarter mile off the trail in some brush. Your M.E. has already arrived so we better set off.”

“We have two more agents coming.” Erin said.

“Ranger Perkins will bring them to the scene. Come this way please.”

They followed her down the trail, Dave taking the time to admire some of the foliage. It had been a while since he’d seen a body. He wasn’t particularly worried he wouldn’t be able to handle it but it would be nice to have some beautiful images in his mind as well.

“Who discovered the body, Ranger Evans?” Erin asked.

“A hiker said something caught her eye when she walked by with her husband. They backtracked and took a little walk off the trail, expecting nothing. It took just a few minutes to see it was a human body, even from the distance. The scene hasn’t been disturbed. We closed off a one mile radius around the scene to search for any evidence.” Lizzie turned off the trail, started walking through the dust, bramble, and brush. “Watch your step; it can be wicked once you're off the trail.”

“I'm sure the person who dumped the body here had to know that as well.” Erin replied. “Change the one mile radius to three. Sometimes killers depend on law enforcement not taking the extra step.”

“Yes ma'am.”

“Also, we only want park rangers and law enforcement agents searching. If the killer inserts himself into the investigation he’s going to walk off with anything that could help identify him.”

“Yes ma'am.” Lizzie nodded.

“Sam, Sam, I guess I can't call you my sunshine man today.” Erin said as they approached the body.

“I'm always your sunshine man.” He replied.

“What are we looking at?”

Sam Kassmeyer, one of the country’s top forensic pathologists, was crouched down in the dirt.

“We have a Caucasian female, young. She might be in her 20s but if she were as young as 17, I wouldn’t be surprised. She was found face down and naked in the brush; I haven’t turned the body. It doesn’t look like your killer really tried to hide her.” Sam looked up at Erin. “There were much better places to do it out here. The poor kid would’ve never been found.”

“What's the COD?” Rossi asked.

Erin cut her eyes at him. “You observe, David, you don’t ask questions.”

“I'm sketchy on the COD until I get her back to the morgue. There’s definitely ligature strangulation but there is also blunt force trauma about the head. She has various cuts, bruises, and abrasions but this doesn’t look like torture. It looks like a one-time beating.”

“Are there signs of sexual assault?” Erin asked.

“The attack was vicious.” Sam replied, sighing. “Poor kid, no one deserves to end up like this out here. The only good thing I can say is they waited until after the storm to dump her. The rain didn’t wash away the evidence. If he left anything, I will find it. I’ll get her back and take proper care of her.”

“Thanks Sam.” Erin gave his shoulder a squeeze as he stood.

“Oh, and liver temp puts her death somewhere between ten and midnight. I think this girl is going to have a sad story to tell.”

“I'm sure.” she held out her hand as Morgan and Reid approached the crime scene. “You're late.”

“Apparently super computer brain over here doesn’t have Map Quest.” Morgan slapped a $50 into her palm. “I cannot believe we got turned around.”

“I told you…”

“No Reid.” He held up his hand and shook his head. “Don’t.”

“I need you guys to talk to the couple who found the body. And then get with the park rangers on duty last night between 9pm and this morning when the body was found. You have to be checked in and out of the park. The killer’s registered; he has to be. And maybe someone doesn’t even realize they saw something.”

“Gotcha.” Morgan walked away and Reid followed.

Erin slipped the money in her pocket and looked at Dave.

“We’re heading back. We need to find out who this girl is because the faster we do that, the faster we can find out who hurt her. She’s young and she looks clean…someone misses her.”

“Yeah.”

He turned to walk back toward the main trail, walked a couple of steps and then fell over with an ‘oof’ sound.

“Oh my God, Rossi, are you alright?” Erin and Sam rushed over to help him.

“I tripped over something.” He muttered, lying on his side.

“What?” Erin and Sam both looked around. She saw the rock poking out of the dirt and gravel, pointing it out to Sam. At least he hadn't destroyed a part of the crime scene.

“I don't know! Dammit, my pants are ruined.”

“It was a rock and I don’t care about your pants.” She said, reaching out a hand. “Are you alright?”

“I think so. I'm so glad it’s just us. Nothing ruins your street cred like busting your ass at a crime scene.”

“Yeah, we don’t want to endanger that street cred.” Erin rolled her eyes. “Gimme your hand.”

He did and she pulled him up. He started dusting himself off, grimacing a bit.

“Are you sure you're alright, Agent Rossi?” Sam asked. “I can give you a cursory look over if you’d like.”

“No, I'm fine; seriously. And please, call me Dave. I’d prefer not to be addressed as Agent since I'm not one anymore.”

“Of course. I’ll see you guys back at the morgue.”

Sam walked ahead of them. The assistants had already left to put the body in the medical examiner’s truck that was parked by where Erin left their SUV. She started walking behind Sam and Dave walked in step with her.

“The way you pulled me up back there was kinda sexy.” he said.

“Yeah, you're fine.” She mumbled.

***

Dave stretched in the uncomfortable chair, grimacing some. Erin watched him out of the corner of her eye as she pretended to look at her computer. They’d been looking at it for over two hours trying to find the victim. It was sad how many women between the ages of 16 and 25 went missing in the DC area. This included Maryland and Virginia.

If they didn’t find her there Erin would have to scan the national database. That might keep her staring at the screen for days. As team leader she would dole out that sort of work. Spencer would be perfect for the job.

“Are you sure you're alright?” she asked.

“Mmm hmm.” Dave asked. He stood up and headed toward the kitchen. “Do you want a cup of coffee?”

“No thank you. I'm hungry though; we should probably get some food soon.”

“OK.”

He disappeared into the kitchen and Erin went back to her screen. She knew something wasn’t right though so she got up from her chair, going into the kitchen herself. She watched Dave suck on an inhaler, cringing as he tried to take a deep breath. He coughed some before inhaling again.

“I should take you to the hospital.” She said.

“Don’t sneak up on me.” Dave said, leaning on the counter.

“I didn’t mean to do that. I don’t think you're alright.”

“Well I do believe the little woman cares.” He replied, quoting The Thin Man.

“You know what David, everything isn’t a joke.”

“I'm fine. I just…sometimes I have trouble breathing OK? Shit like that happens when you're ambushed and shot four times.” He turned away from her and started making a cup of coffee. He didn’t even want it but needed to walk away from her to take his inhaler. Now he had to make good on what he said he was going to do.

“What happened in New Mexico?” she asked.

“I was shot.”

Erin let out a sign of exasperation and Dave actually grinned. The smile faded as his mind went back to that warehouse in the desert.

“We were on a serial case near the Mexico border. People were being killed in a ritualistic manner and there didn’t seem to be any connection except the victims were all Mexican. We were down there less than a week when one of the victims was revealed to be a middle-level lieutenant for a big Mexican drug cartel running out of Chihuahua. If we were gonna catch the guy responsible we needed to do it before they did. Then we got a tip about some strange incidents at this warehouse in the desert.

“The victims had been killed in their homes but we profiled someone who needed space to be alone to hone his craft. We thought he practiced on animals or, even worse, people who tried to jump the border late at night. So we went out there; it was five of us.” Dave stopped.

He was having a little trouble breathing again so he took another suck on the inhaler. He knew he probably shouldn’t have done that. It was time to go home…Dave needed to call it a day. The fall affected him somehow though he couldn’t figure out how. These days his body didn’t need much to turn against him. Dave wasn’t even sure he would have all the energy required to follow Erin around on a hot case.

“Anyway, we rushed the warehouse and were ambushed by members of the cartel. It was a setup…we were stupid. We lost two agents that day and I barely survived. They wanted the FBI out so they could dole out a little private justice, not really caring if they got the right people at all. They just wanted to show their strength and intimidate the murderer. You can't intimidate a sadist.”

“I'm sorry.” She said.

“For what? You didn’t shoot me.”

“But that case ended your career.”

“It’s a hazard of the job. I'm lucky to be alive; I remember that when I can't breathe or my hands start shaking for no damn reason.”

“What?”

“I sustained some nerve damage. I have nerve damage, respiratory ‘issues’, and there's a shrink out there who shall remain nameless that once tried to diagnose me with PTSD. Sometimes I think that’s the new black.”

“It’s a real disorder.” Erin replied. “I've seen the devastating effects firsthand.”

“People who need the help should get it. I don’t have PTSD. Unfortunately, New Mexico wasn’t the first time I was shot. As I said, it’s a hazard of the job.”

“The real story surely doesn’t sound as glamorous as the ones I've heard over time.”

“My personal favorite is that I took them all out; single handedly, after taking four bullets. That’s a good one.”

“Weren't you wearing Kevlar?” Erin asked.

“Yeah.” Dave nodded. “This was a drug cartel, Erin; they have bullets that don’t respect the vest. Anyway, I was shot in the head.”

“Four times?”

“No. Just once, but that was enough; believe me. Erin, I don’t want…”

“Excuse me, Agent Strauss?” Agent Anderson came into the kitchen. He knew he interrupted something and feared her reaction. No matter what it was, he had to do his job. “I'm sorry to interrupt, but Dr. Kassmeyer wants you down in the morgue. He has something he thinks you should see.”

“Alright, I’ll be right there.” she walked back toward her desk and Dave came too. “Go home, Rossi; it’s been a long day and you're tired. There’s nothing else for you to do here unless you want to fill your novel with boring details about autopsies.”

“Actually ma'am,” Anderson interrupted before Dave could speak. “He wants to see you both. Dr. Kassmeyer said he wanted to see you both.”

“Why?” Dave asked.

“Your guess is as good as mine.” She said. “Let’s go. Then you're going home, I mean that.”

He nodded, following her to the elevator. He was in some pain but would sleep it off later. If the medical examiner wanted to see him, Dave was in no mood to disappoint.

***

“Hey Jimmy, where’s Sam?” Erin walked through the morgue’s sliding glass doors with Dave.

Jimmy Palmer stood up from his seat where he had been writing up the last of the autopsy on Jane Doe. He stood at attention when he realized he was in the presence of Erin Strauss. Gibbs was intimidating but this woman…holy moly. Jimmy really had to work on growing a pair. He’d been loaned to the FBI for a nine month exchange program. This was his third month.

Ashley Seaver had gone over to NCIS and they got together regularly to compare notes. Not only was Jimmy getting to work with two of the greatest minds in pathology, he might get a new girlfriend out of the deal. Things like that didn’t happen to him often. It was a reason to smile, even while intimidated.

“Um…”

“He said he needed to see us.” Erin tilted her head some. “Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth? Should I try another language?”

“Dr. Kassmeyer stepped away for a moment, ma'am.” Jimmy cleared his throat. “He got a phone call…I believe it was from his wife. He should be right back, ma'am.”

“Stop calling me ma'am.” Erin said, softening her stance a little. “It makes me feel like a librarian.”

“Yes ma'am, I mean…”

Rossi smirked. He extended his hand to the nervous young man.

“I'm Dave Rossi.”

“I know sir.” Jimmy shook it. “It’s an honor to meet you. I heard a rumor that you were back in the FBI writing another book. I wasn’t sure if it was true but I can’t believe that I'm standing in the presence of a legend. The Charleston Slasher case, I followed it as a kid. I mean not that it was that long ago, sir, but…”

“At ease, Palmer; he’s a human being like the rest of us.” Erin said.

“Yes ma'am, I mean…”

“Stop.” Erin held up her hand. She looked around the morgue; saw the poor girl lying on the table. “Did Sam say how long he was going to be?”

“Here I am.” Sam came through the door that led into the morgue from the back office he kept. “I'm sorry to keep you waiting. We’ve got the terrible twos and a very nasty case of diaper rash going on at home. I should be there but this job has never had real hours. Luckily Jess was able to call her sister and have her come and stay for a few days. I’m sure I’ll pay for that at a later date.”

“Aaron’s ex is in town?” Erin asked. She couldn’t believe the words had come from her mouth but they had. And now she knew Dave was looking at her.

“She’s visiting family.” Sam replied. “I don’t know if it’s fortunate or unfortunate that that happens to be at my house.”

Sam had been married to Aaron Hotchner’s sister-in-law for five years. Hotch was the one who set them up on a blind date; thought they were perfect for each other. It turns out that they were. Hotch’s ex-wife Haley seemed bitter about that but to Erin she seemed bitter about everything. Not that people who lived in glass houses needed to throw stones. She hardly knew the woman and planned on keeping it that way.

“Anyway,” Sam went on, bringing Erin out of her own thoughts. “We found something very interesting while doing the autopsy. You both needed to see this.”

“What is it?” Erin asked as she and Dave followed him over to the body. Jimmy Palmer hung back, a mixture of intimidation and awe on his face. That was how he always looked to her.

“Ever since 2000 we’ve been required to check the body in at least 3 various light sources during autopsy.” Sam said.

“Since the Astrology Murders?” Dave asked.

“Yes.” Sam nodded. “Jimmy checked her under natural, ultraviolet, and a black light. He found it.”

“What?” Erin asked, not sure she wanted to know.

“This.” Sam ran the small black light over the inside of the victim’s right wrist and there it was. It was the astrological sign for Scorpio tattooed on her skin.

“What the hell?”

“It’s Scorpio.” Dave replied. “It’s the next sign.”

“What are you talking about?” she looked at him.

“Hollander stopped at Libra…Scorpio would be next.” He said.

“Are you saying…?”

“We may have a copycat on our hands, Erin.” Sam said.

“We may?” Dave asked. “Is it just the sign or did everything else fit the victimology to a tee?”

“I had Jimmy look it up. Jimmy?”

“Yes Doctor.” He walked over to the body as well. It took Jimmy awhile to get used to hearing his own first name as Dr. Mallard always called him ‘Mr. Palmer’. That kind of made him feel like James Bond. OK, maybe James Bond’s sidekick, but he was used to it anyway. “Everything else fit the victimology to a tee. Young, Caucasian female, aged 17 to approximately 24 with dyed blonde hair.”

“She was sexual assaulted, repeatedly strangled nearly to asphyxiation, and then beat about the head with an object. It looks like a rock from my examination.” Sam went on. “The blunt force trauma is what killed her. The strangulation was part of the game.”

“Was she held?” Dave asked.

“No food in her belly and she was suffering the onset of dehydration. I sent tissue samples and blood to the lab. I wouldn’t be surprised to see…”

“Rohypnol, Nembutal, and traces of cocaine.” Dave finished it up.

“Exactly.”

“Is she a Scorpio?” Erin asked. “It’s a stretch but narrowing the field down by date of birth combined with the tattoos she has could go a long way in helping us find her.”

“If this bastard is sticking to the original case, yes.” Dave nodded. “Sam, this is huge.”

“I know, and it will cause pandemonium if it gets out, copycat or not. We need to keep this between us for now. This could be an isolated case in which the killer is just trying to throw us off track by using a case he, or even she, is obsessed with to make it look like a stranger killing. But I'm just a pathologist…I’ll leave the leg work to you guys.”

“She?” Erin raised an eyebrow. “Sam, you think a woman could sexually assault…”

“There were no fluids, ma'am.” Jimmy replied. “I'm sorry, I didn’t mean…”

“Jimmy, if you don’t stop calling me ma'am, I will destroy all of your Mrs. Robinson fantasies by kicking your ass.” Erin said it with a little grin. She wasn’t trying to make Jimmy fear her; she just couldn’t take the ‘ma'am’ thing.

“If I were him that would only enhance them.” Rossi replied.

That got him a nice evil eye from Erin. Sam laughed and he just grinned.

“What are you going to do about this?” Sam asked, turning serious again.

“We’re gonna do what we always do, work the case.” Erin replied. “I'm going to have to spend more time than I hoped on something from the past but if it gets me a killer in the present then so be it.”

“You’ve got two things on your side.” Sam said.

“What?”

“Hollander is dead; executed by the state of Virginia in 2008. And of course you're standing right next to the encyclopedia of the case.”

“You worked this?” Erin looked at Dave.

“I solved it.” he replied.

“Did you write the book because I have a speed reader upstairs?”

***

“Oh my God, this looks amazing.” Erin smiled as Jason set the plate in front of her.

He put his own plate down before refilling her glass with a 2007 Torre di Luna Pinot Grigio. Then he sat across from her at his small dining room table. Jason had been living in the same, rather small Georgetown apartment for as long as Erin could remember. He wasn’t poor; you couldn’t be and live in this part of the city.

Erin wondered why he didn’t move to someplace with more space. She even wondered it aloud a few times. Jason told her he wanted to be where he knew every shadow by heart. She almost understood that.

“Tell me what we’re eating.” She said.

“It’s lobster and shrimp ravioli with three cheeses. I made the Alfredo from scratch but can admit to adding a touch of spicy marinara for kick. That came from a bottle. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to put the cheese in the sauce or the pasta so I did both.”

“Cheese is a weakness of mine.” Erin replied.

“I knew that.”

“Oh right, I forgot you know everything about me.”

“No,” Jason shook his head. “I'm sure I don’t. You’re not the kind of woman that a man could even know in a lifetime. Men are very fond of mysteries.”

“Who are these men? Would you mind introducing me to one?”

Jason smiled, holding up his glass of wine.

“I’d like to propose a toast.”

“As long as it’s not to fidelity, bravery, and integrity then that’s fine.”

“Not tonight. Tonight I think we should drink to old friends and new lessons.”

“Hear, hear.” Erin touched her glass to his and sipped her wine. “Mmm. I'm probably more excited over this plate than I've been in too long. You know how it is when you’re working a case. I can't remember the last time I had real food.”

“You’ve been very busy. I noticed you and Dave Rossi have been spending some late nights working together.” Jason said.

“We still don’t even know who the poor girl is, Jason. And that’s just the first step; we need to find out what happened to her.” Erin sighed. “I don’t want to talk about work. I want to talk about anything but work. I want to talk about art, history, comedy, sex, music…anything but work.”

“I'm sorry, I knew that. Let’s just enjoy this meal. I prepared it because I knew you’d love it. I didn’t invite you here to badger you about the job.”

“I'm glad to hear it.”

Erin smiled, taking her time to savor dinner. It was quite delicious and she told him so. Cooking was one of Jason’s many passions. He did so many things; she didn’t know how he found the time. He loved being in the FBI but it could be difficult handling all the things that came across his desk. For years, Jason was the Unit Chief of the BAU; the job Aaron Hotchner held now.

Seven years ago in Boston, Jason lost a whole team of agents to a serial bomber. The incident caused him to have a nervous breakdown. He felt like it was his fault; he underestimated a maniac. The people who cared about him, Erin included, were very worried about him. Jason took a year away from the Bureau and when he returned he came to the DC Violent Crime office.

There were those who weren't sure if he could hack it, violence was violence after all. Jason was dedicated to his work. He was dedicated to the victims and to his agents. He also continued to teach at the Academy which, if Erin was honest with herself, was what he loved the most. She wasn’t sure how much she would want to do the job if she couldn’t pop her head in his office everyday.

“Jason?”

“Yes?” he looked at her.

“What do you think of me?” Erin asked.

“I'm sorry?”

“What do you think of me?”

“Hmm.” He sipped his wine as he thought about the question. Firstly, it was something he never thought he’d be asked. To be sure he thought about it but didn’t expect to be asked. “I think you're one of the most amazing agents I've ever had the privilege of knowing, teaching, and working with. You are gifted and…”

“Stop.” Erin held up her hand.

“What did I say?”

“I don’t want to know what you think of SSA Strauss, Jason. I want to know what you think of me.”

“You're amazing.”

“That’s it?” she asked.

“Shall I count the ways?” he let a grin slip.

“Jason…”

“What's going on?”

“Why don’t I have any friends?” Erin sighed after she said it, as if holding it back was nearly impossible. “How come I don’t laugh or go on dates or do giddy things or…oh God, this is stupid. Nevermind.”

“It isn’t stupid. You can talk to me, Erin.”

“I hardly know what to say.”

She went back to her dinner and so did Jason. He didn’t want to push, she brought it up after all, but it was clear she needed to get something off her chest. He would be there for her if that’s what she wanted. Perhaps it wasn’t him but someone else she wanted to be having this conversation with. He couldn’t help but notice that she’d softened in David Rossi’s presence. Be damned if that man just made her another notch on his belt.

The ‘no fraternization’ rule being instituted because of Rossi was a joke in the Bureau. Jason had known him a long time; it wasn’t that far from the truth. He definitely appreciated the ladies…his second wife was actually in the FBI. Jason didn’t want Erin getting wrapped up in him and having her heart broken. He didn’t know if he could bear it. She stopped letting him take care of her a long time ago but that didn’t mean he forgot how to care.

“You and Dave Rossi seem to be getting along better.” Jason picked the ball up again and took it in another direction.

“He’ll be helpful on this case since the Astrology Murders were his thing. Other than that, he's still pretty obnoxious.”

“I think he makes you smile though.”

“I’ll admit that he…I need to get a life. I love being in the FBI. I've sacrificed a lot to be the best agent I can be. But I'm 43 years old and I don’t have a life.

“Did you know my teenage son has more adventures than I do? I want something more than crime scenes and interrogation rooms. I love it but when day after day it’s all I have…I resent it a little too. I'm a smart woman; I think I can balance both.”

“I have faith in you.” Jason said.

“But no advice?” she asked.

“I try not to give advice; you know that.”

“I'm asking for it, Jason.”

“The best advice I can give is to live your life to the fullest on your terms. I know the reason I can still do this job is because I walked away for a year. If you want to make friends, have adventures, and live a little then do it. If you're not sure how then get with people who can help. Morgan is a good example…that kid knows how to have fun. I don’t know how to have fun.”

“You do things that are fun for you. I know you're still working on that bucket list.”

“Well what's fun for you?” Jason asked.

“I have no idea.” Erin shook her head. “I think after this case is over I'm gonna take some time off and try to figure it out though. I need to do that before it’s too late.”

Jason didn’t think it was ever too late to find another part of yourself. He knew that Erin’s journey wouldn’t lead her back to his door. It was too late for that. He should've held onto her when he had the chance. Now she was walking a trail straight to another man’s arms.

Jason only had himself to blame. All they would have now was the FBI. They might not even have that if Erin was ready to move on. She’d been an Agent for 20 years; five more and she could walk away with a full pension and the rest of her life in front of her. He sighed, moving his hand over hers.

“Birds always leave the nest.” He said quietly.

“You're the only person I know who can make birds sound romantic. You're always going to be a part of my life, Jason. No matter what happens, no matter what adventures I have, I'll always poke my head into your office.”

“Dare I ask…?”

“I promise.” she said.

***

Her name was Nina Renee Nichols. She was a 20 year old junior History and Women’s Studies major at Washington and Lee University in Lexington, Virginia. An All-American field hockey player, Nina was also a member of Chi Omega sorority and beloved by almost everyone who encountered her. She spent summers doing plays and teaching mentally challenged kids to swim or paint or dance. She played the piano, oboe, and violin.

There didn’t seem to be enough hours in the day for all Nina wanted to do with her life. The life that was abruptly cut short before she was dumped in Shenandoah National Park three days ago. It was the infinity tattoo on her torso that finally helped the FBI identify her. And she was indeed a Scorpio; born November 9, 1989.

The Nichols family lived in McLean so Dave and Erin went there to speak with them. Their daughter’s death was a devastating blow; she was the youngest child of three. Her mother had reported her missing after she didn’t make it home on Saturday morning. They couldn’t locate her for the rest of the day.

The parents didn’t have much information to offer. They said Nina was spending the summer in Lexington teaching at a field hockey sports camp. She only came home every other weekend to see them and her local friends. Nothing in her life seemed out of the ordinary until she disappeared.

They went to her boyfriend’s condo and talked to him as well. Kyle Gardner shed tears; Strauss and Rossi both believed them to be real. He hadn’t talked to Nina in a few weeks…said they were taking a break. That wasn’t his decision and it also wasn’t made because they didn’t love each other.

Kyle said she was just too busy. He was a senior at Georgetown and her abundance of activities made a long-distance romance impossible. He was hoping to rekindle the flame this summer but his hopes were dashed by her staying in Lexington with friends. Now he would never see her again.

Her former boss at McGinty’s Sub Shoppe had nothing but praise and love for her. High school friends thought she was the sweetest girl who ever lived and didn’t have an enemy in the world. There was jealousy and animosity sometimes, people were only human. None of them could imagine someone they knew being responsible for this.

Rossi didn’t think that was necessarily true but the questioning didn’t sound off any alarms. Most people were heartbroken when they heard. Things like this didn’t happen to homecoming queens from good families in prominent towns. No one ever suspected that a time would come when they had to be interviewed by the FBI.

“Lexington is three hours away.” Erin said, sipping her water. She was typing something on her iPad. “We’re gonna want to get an early start in the morning. I'm interviewing everyone I can get my hands on tomorrow.”

“We’re gonna want to search the apartment.” Rossi said. He just watched her fingers move.

“Her mother said she’s staying with a friend there. I hope there’s something more to search than a pull-out couch. She was an adventurous 20 year old…she didn’t even need a room.”

“Well she has a car.”

“I called Morgan and told him to put a BOLO on the car. I also contacted Lexington Police with the same message. I don’t think she ever made it to McLean. I just don’t know yet if she was even on the road there when she was snatched. This could’ve happened in Lexington. Tomorrow will be a busy day.”

“Today was a busy day.” He replied.

“Are you alright?” she stopped what she was doing and looked up at him. Concern was etched all over her face. She didn’t want to care but she did. Rossi wasn’t 100% and he wasn’t in the Bureau anymore. Yet here he was giving his all as he followed her around. Erin didn’t need his collapse on her conscience.

“I'm fine. What are you doing?”

“Eating.”

They were sitting in the Georgetown Diner as another rainstorm besieged the city. Erin thought this might be the summer she actually floated away. She knew what this weather did to aching muscles and joints. If Rossi needed to sit it out then she was fine with that. She’d already put him in his place for interjecting during interviews and making suggestions about what to do next. This was her case and she was going to work it her way. It didn’t matter if she listened to him more than half the time or found his questions helpful.

“No,” Rossi pointed. “I mean on that thing.”

“It’s an iPad, David, and I'm sorting all the information I got today. It’s called organization. I would think as a writer you'd know a little something about it.”

“I got all my organization right here.”

“Don’t point to your head.” Erin replied. “You were shot there.”

“I'm talking about this.” He pulled the small pad and pen from his inside jacket pocket. “All that newfangled technology freaks me out.”

“Newfangled?” she smirked. “You sound like my father. He’s 70 by the way.”

“Everything new isn’t good; my father taught me that a long time ago. I mean think about it. How do you know there isn’t some microchip in there that logs your every move? You have it in your purse and there’s a GPS inside that knows where you're going at all times. It knows what sites you visit on the internet, what you’re typing, who you’re talking to, what you’re reading…no thank you.”

“So you're anti-technology? I guess that means you write all your books on an old school typewriter with a ribbon.” Erin looked at him and sighed. “You do, don’t you?”

“No.” Dave shook his head. “I use a laptop. But just because I can navigate Microsoft Word doesn’t mean I want all that.”

“I appreciate your input, but…”

“No you don’t. You haven’t appreciated my input all day.” He was smiling.

“Are you trying to tick me off? It’s been a long day.”

“No, I'm just pointing out that you saying you appreciate my input is a falsehood.”

“A falsehood?” she asked.

“Yes.” Dave nodded.

“Shut up.”

“Yes ma'am.”

“Do not call me ma'am. Eat your food and then I'm taking you home.”

“Are you going back to the office?”

“It doesn’t matter; I'm taking you home.”

“I'm not an invalid, Erin, I can do the job.”

“It’s not your job to do.” She said it gently. She wasn’t trying to cause a fight, just state the facts. “You're a writer and you're good at it. I'm the FBI agent and sometimes I have to go back to the office and stay there late. You don’t need to do it too, especially since I'm picking you up around 7 tomorrow morning.”

“Road trip! What should I bring?”

“A muzzle.” Erin replied, barely suppressing a grin as she typed more things on her iPad.

“Jokes, concern…keep this up and I might start to think that you like me.”

Dave looked at her; tried to register any changes in her demeanor. Erin Strauss was a high brick wall that he might not have the lung capacity to climb. That didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try. Dave wasn’t the type to give up without trying.

There was something more to her than super FBI woman. There was something more to everyone than their jobs. Maybe he’d just throw a personal question out there and see where it landed. As long as it wasn’t on top of him like a ton of bricks, Dave could live with the results.

“What's your favorite color?” he asked.

“Purple.” She finished up her notes, saved them, and shut down the machine. Now she could focus on eating her salad. “Why?”

“I'm just making conversation.”

“Well what’s yours?”

“I don't know…I've never thought about it. Would it be rude to say I think favorite colors might only be a feminine thing?”

“I don’t know about rude but it'd be sexist.” Erin said.

“Then I won't say it.”

“Good for you. I won't tell you what I did to the last guy who got sexist around me.”

“Please do. Tell me anything; tell me Erin.”

“I don’t want this ending up in your book.”

“I'm not going to use real names. Did you make him look like an ass while you looked brilliant and awesome like you are?”

“Don’t butter me up, David.”

“Just tell me. I want to hear the story.”

“I’ll tell you when I'm driving you home.”

It was blackmail but Dave would take it. He wasn’t going to pretend it would be this easy to get anything out of her but he was victorious this once. Erin Strauss, 50; Dave Rossi, 1. He hoped it would be a very good one.

***

“I'm just exhausted. I honestly can't remember the last time I was so beat to hell.” Erin said. She took the shot of Wild Turkey Elle handed her, sliding it down in one go. She finished off her Coors Light and asked for another. Elle handed it over without question. That was why Erin liked this place; she got what she wanted. Tonight that was also what she needed. She’d worry about the hangover in the morning. “Sometimes I get this inkling that I wasn’t cut out for this.”

“Bullshit. What would you do if you weren't catching the bad guys?”

Elle was cleaning off the bar and organizing the liquor. It was past closing time on Saturday night at her bar, The Brooklyn Bridge, and Erin was her last customer. Far be it for her to throw a pretty lady out in the rain. Her two bartenders, Mark and Austin, were gone. Her floor people, Tina, Tamara, and Mario, had cleaned and left. It was just the two of them.

She’d always had something more romantic in mind when she finally got Agent Strauss alone but she wasn’t going to look a gift opportunity in the mouth. When life handed you lemons, you used them to garnish the beverages. At least that’s what her dad always taught her. He was a cop and taught Elle all she needed to know about the three things that mattered in life, money, booze, and women. If Elle was anything it was an eager pupil.

“I could teach.” Erin said. She stood on the rail under the bar, leaning over and grabbing the bottle to pour herself another shot. “My father wanted me to get my doctorate and teach.”

“Teach what?” Elle asked.

“I’d be a criminologist. And if my father had anything to say about it, I’d be at the top of my field. I’d probably teach, travel the world to lecture, and all that stuff.”

“I don’t think you’d be happy with ‘all that stuff’ as you call it. What's the adrenaline rush in that?”

She emptied the register and started counting all the cash. Erin just watched as she had yet another shot. She was still nursing the beer though; couldn’t reach another from where she sat.

“Well what's the adrenaline rush in running a bar?” Erin countered, her words slurring some. “I'm sure it can't be as fascinating as what you used to do.”

“That’s where you're wrong. I mean, c'mon, I get to hear the most fascinating stories. I could write a book based on any given night in this place. Speaking of writing a book…”

“Don’t Elle.”

How had word spread so fast about the damn book? She wouldn’t be surprised if David had done it himself. Nothing like building a fan base before the product even hit the market. Erin spent a fleeting moment wondering who would play her in the inevitable mediocre movie to follow.

“Where’s Shakespeare tonight?”

“That’s not funny.” Erin lifted the bottle to pour another, rethought it, and put the bottle down. Then she mumbled something and decided to do one more for the road. “He’s probably somewhere picking up some girl half his age who doesn’t know Shakespeare from Soundgarden.”

“Everyone knows Shakespeare.” Elle replied. She took the bottle from Erin’s hands and put it back on the wall where it belonged. “They still teach him in high school.”

“You got me there.” Erin pointed at her. “I don’t care where he is…he isn’t here.”

“So I noticed. You didn’t have a good day today, did you?”

“What gave it away?”

“Oh I don’t know.” Elle grinned. “You put a beating on that Wild Turkey. That'll teach you to work on Saturdays.”

“You're working.” Erin countered.

“Yes, but my job is fun.”

She wrapped the stacks of bills in a rubber band, wrote something in a ledger, and then went under the bar. Erin could only assume that’s where she kept the safe. She bent over again to look and when Elle popped up their faces were very close. That made Erin stumble back; Elle had to grab her to keep her from falling over.

“You're cute when you're tipsy.” The brunette said with a cheeky grin.

“Mmm, I passed tipsy about three shots ago. I should probably go.”

Erin got off the bar stool, holding on to the bar to steady herself. She knew she was standing still but the room was spinning. The room was definitely spinning.

“Oh no,” Elle rushed from behind the bar. “If you think you're driving, you're so out of your mind.”

“I'm a federal agent.” Erin pulled her credentials out of the back pocket of her jeans. “I know that drinking and driving is against the law. I’ll get a cab.”

“At 3:30 in the morning? Good luck with that.”

“Well, what do you suggest?”

“I’ll drive you.” Elle said. “C'mon.”

“No Elle, no, I'm OK.” Erin went to take a few steps and stumbled. Luckily Elle was there to keep her upright.

“You were saying?”

“OK.” Erin wrapped an arm around Elle’s neck. “The point is yours; I'm a little um….damn you smell good.”

“Thanks.”

“You smell really good.” Erin leaned closer and inhaled her scent.

“Don’t do that, Erin.”

“Why not?”

“Because it makes me want to kiss you.”

Erin grinned, leaning even closer. Elle pulled her in before she could think that this was a very bad idea. She couldn’t help herself; her attraction to Erin was just too much sometimes. Not to mention that Elle Greenaway was not used to taking no for an answer.

Erin turned her down time after time after time. Standing there in the middle of the floor of her bar, she wasn’t saying no. It would’ve been hard to with Elle’s tongue playing in her mouth. Erin moaned, running her fingers up Elle’s back and across the nape of her neck.

“Tell me to stop.” Elle murmured as her lips moved across the underside of Erin’s chin and down to her sweet neck. She was wearing a white dress shirt, a bit oversized with the top two buttons undone. A little peek down and Elle saw the pearl colored bra that held back the breasts she’d spent so many sleepless nights thinking about. “Please tell me to stop.”

Erin just pulled her in for another passionate kiss. Something was alive in her belly; a fire she thought died a million years before. This was probably not the best idea she ever had but that wasn’t enough to stop her. How long had it been since she’d been kissed, touched, desired?

Didn’t she deserve that too? Stumbling back against the bar, damn shoes, Erin grunted as Elle’s body thrust against hers. She was so smooth to the touch, not coarse like a man. When she pulled away from Erin breathless, the blonde licked her lips.

“You live upstairs, right?”

“Yeah.” Elle nodded.

Erin slipped out of her shoes; she would never make it in 2” heels. Elle smiled, it was almost innocent even if they both knew what would happen after they went up those stairs would be rated NC-17. She kissed the inside of Erin’s wrist, kissed her mouth again, and led the way.

000

Erin Strauss wasn’t 25 years old anymore and she never would be again. She did, however, take quite good care of her body. Elle got to admire every inch as she undressed her slow. She got to kiss her shoulders and run her tongue across the hollow of her throat. She brushed soft thumbs across hard nipples that fit between her lips like ripe strawberries.

She’d smirked earlier when Erin talked about Rossi trying to pick up women half his age. Elle liked them young. 16 was the age of consent in DC and there were so many colleges around Elle felt like she was in a playground sometimes. All the sweet young things that would come into her bar with fake IDs and bi-curious intents. Elle always had a sweet tooth; she could hardly control herself with all the candy around. But there was something different about Erin Strauss, and it was more than her age.

She was beautiful, as much so in her clothes as out of them. She was tough, but soft and sweet underneath. So damn sweet, and again, Elle had a sweet tooth. She could hardly believe that the FBI agent was there with her; naked, wanton…someone up there must really like her.

“Ohhh…” Erin arched her back as Elle made love to her breasts. “Mmm, Elle.”

“Damn,” Elle murmured against her skin. “I've always wanted to hear you call my name.”

“Keep going…you’ll hear it.”

So many red flags were going off in Erin’s head but she ignored them. She was tired of playing it safe. She wanted something different, something where she didn’t have to think too much. It was hard to think anyway with Elle touching her, kissing her, stroking her. The woman had amazing hands and magical lips. When Erin pushed her shoulders down, Elle let out a throaty laugh that put butterflies in her stomach.

“Tell me what you want, Erin.” Elle ran her tongue along her flat stomach.

“You.” Erin breathed, lifting some as the satin panties came off her hips and slid down her legs.

“The feeling is entirely mutual.”

Elle slid Erin’s thighs open, inhaled the scent of her want. It was enough to make her feel as drunk as Erin surely was. She had to pull back before she lost control. This wasn’t just about her getting her jollies.

Erin wasn’t one of the sweet, young things Elle passed the time with. She was all woman and deserved to be loved as such. Elle wasn’t dumb enough to think she’d ever get another chance…this was one night only. Be damned if she wasn’t going to make it the best of both of their lives.

***

“I think you're gonna need this.” Elle sat on the side of the bed. She put the coffee mug and the two Motrin caplets on the nightstand. Unable to help herself, she bent to kiss behind Erin’s ear.

“I'm not dead.” She mumbled into the pillow.

“Nope. You did die and go to heaven a couple of times last night though.”

“Cute.”

“I thought so.”

She flopped over on the comfortable mattress, pulling up the sheet to cover her naked body. Good lord, Erin was naked in a woman’s bed. If her father could see her now he’d surely lose it. If Dave Rossi could see her now he’d probably take photos. Elle looked a lot better than Erin felt in red satin and lace knickers and a matching tank top. She really was a beautiful woman with her olive skin and dark brown hair.

“Things aren’t gonna be all weird between us now, are they?” Elle asked the question she didn’t want to. “I mean, I know we’re not best friends or anything but I can delude myself when you come to my bar and have a few drinks.”

Erin smiled, leaning forward for a morning kiss. She stroked Elle’s face and smiled. Then she grabbed the coffee cup and downed the Motrin. The coffee was good; she couldn’t believe that Elle seemed to know exactly how she took it. Well, she was a bartender and a former con artist. If it was one thing she knew, it was people.

“Its never gonna happen again, but last night was wonderful.” She said.

“You think I don’t know that. Why else would I have pulled out every trick in my book? I'm not the type to waste an opportunity, especially with you.”

“Why me?” Erin asked, unable to help herself.

“Why not you?” Elle countered. “You have no idea how damn beautiful you are. You're smart, capable, sexy, hot, cold, and hard to get on all levels. Some people like complicated puzzles…I'm one of them.”

She got up off the bed and headed into the shower. Sighing, Erin leaned back against the pillows and nursed her coffee. The boys at the office would love this story, too bad they were never gonna hear it. She wouldn’t tell a soul about this one except maybe her therapist. At least she wasn’t feeling the black cloud of regret that usually came along with a hangover.

After relaxing for a few minutes the music of her cell phone brought her back to reality. Pink’s _You Make Me Sick_ , the techie girl Garcia picked it and even though Erin hated it she didn’t know how to change it. She reached down to the carpet for her jeans and grabbed the phone out of her back pocket.

“Good morning, David.”

“I was thinking about pancakes.” He said instead of hello. “You like pancakes, right?”

“What red blooded American female doesn’t like pancakes?” Erin asked. She smiled when she heard Elle singing Queen in the shower.

“Well my second ex-wife didn’t. That’s why she’s my second ex wife.”

“Clearly she's a Communist.”

Dave laughed.

“You wanna meet me for breakfast, Erin? We can talk about the case. I've been thinking about some things and I wanted to go over them with you.”

“I have to shower and…I had a long night. I'm not feeling that great.”

“How's ninety minutes sound?”

“Alright, let’s meet at the Georgetown Diner. I gotta go.”

“See you there.”

Erin hung up her cell phone, finished the coffee and got out of bed. Sharing a shower was a good way to save water. She kept repeating that to herself as she made her way into Elle Greenaway’s bathroom.

***

“We got the car.” Morgan hung up the phone and walked over to Erin’s desk.

“Where?” she asked.

“Sheriff’s deputies found it on a road to nowhere about 13 miles outside of Lexington.”

“Heading north or south?” Rossi asked.

“It was turned southbound. I figure it was headed to that road to nowhere.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.” He said.

“Maybe Nina was driving somewhere but was intercepted and kidnapped.” Reid joined the conversation.

“Where?” Erin asked. “We talked to the roommate, Audrey Givens, and she said the only plan she knew Nina had was to go home.”

“Reid and I are driving down there and check the car out.” Morgan said. “Then we’ll have techs bring it back here to look further. The Deputy said someone tried to set it on fire but it’s only partially burnt.”

“Someone was trying to get rid of evidence.” Rossi said.

“Fire has a tendency to do the opposite sometimes.” Reid replied. “It can preserve something that the killer may have been trying to conceal. We’ve even gotten fingerprint lifts from burnt objects.”

“Let’s rejoice that the killer doesn’t watch too much CSI or Dateline.” Erin said, sighing. “You guys let me know what you find.”

“Right.” Morgan nodded. He and Reid set off for the three hour ride.

“Do you think the killer took the car back to Lexington?” Erin asked, looking at Rossi.

“I'm not sure if the car ever left. We’ll probably know more when we see it. I don’t think it’s our crime scene.”

“No.” Erin shook her head. This was getting more perplexing by the moment. There was something they didn’t know, someone, which was the key to this case. “How the hell did Nina Nichols get out of Lexington and end up in Shenandoah? How could no one anywhere have seen anything?”

“People disappear everyday, sadly.” Dave said. “Some of them are never found.”

“Thanks for the positive input, Rossi.”

“I'm just saying. Who was the last person to see Nina?”

“Audrey. She left the apartment at 6 and said she was going home. Wait a minute…she left on Friday evening.”

“Yeah.” he nodded.

“Her parents said she was coming home Saturday morning. There’s only three hours between Lexington and McLean; she didn’t need to leave the night before.”

“Where was she going?” Dave asked.

“And who knew about it?” Erin picked up her phone. “We need to question everyone again; someone isn’t telling us something.”

***

“I think its time for a little quid pro quo.” He said.

“What do you mean by quid pro quo?”

“Well that usually means that…”

“David, I know what quid pro quo means. I want to know why you think its time for it.”

They were sitting up at the bar on a slightly rowdy Thursday evening at Absinthe. Her teammates frequented this place as much as they did The Brooklyn Bridge. They had a booth and were getting their drink on. They were also talking, laughing, and shaking off a long, hard day. She’d let Dave convince her to go out tonight, blow off some steam, but she couldn’t bring herself to join in the revelry. They were all probably wondering what her problem was.

This case was kicking her ass. It was going nowhere slow. They were working every angle but it just led to more brick walls. Erin didn’t want to think about it; this was looking more and more like a copycat serial killer. She honestly wanted nothing to do with that. But this was their case, and they worked it to the end. She didn’t want to think about bodies piling up before she could find this creep.

Erin sat on her own at the bar, beating off the advances of a few fortysomething men looking for a good time or a stepmother for their kids. At Elle’s place she only would’ve beat off Elle, and at least that was challenging. When Dave joined her, Erin wanted to tell him to give her some space, but he wasn’t being obnoxious. Well he wasn’t until he brought up this quid pro quo thing. What was that about?

“I told you what happened to me in New Mexico.” He said. “Now I want to know something about you. Just one thing, Erin…I just want to know you. You’ve held me at arm’s length for over a month. You're better at it than my second ex-wife and believe me that’s a compliment. Now I'm asking you to tell me something.”

She didn’t know what to say to that. Erin was afraid to let him inside of her head. He was a profiler; probably already assumed he already knew her down to the tips of her Kenneth Cole pumps. Giving him fodder for his cannon was not in Erin’s best interest.

It wasn’t as if she hadn't warmed up some to Dave. They were definitely working well on the case together. He was an excellent FBI Agent; that couldn’t be denied. He’d also told her what happened to him in New Mexico. She asked and he just told her. Quid pro quo indeed.

“David?”

“Yes?”

“If any of my personal life, even so much as an inkling, turns up in this book of yours I will kill you. I will hunt you down and you will be on a milk carton. I'm not kidding…they’ll never find you. Are we understood?”

Dave looked at her for a minute, his brown eyes staring into her blue. Then he put on that killer grin.

“You have a personal life?” he asked.

“I'm serious.” Erin smiled despite herself, reaching out to thump his arm. “Swear to me. If you want to write this character because I do what I do, that’s fine I guess. But swear to me you won't put aspects of my personal life in some novel.”

“I swear.” Dave held up his hand.

Erin really looked at him. Did he mean it? Did her threat really get through or did he think he could charm his way out of anything? She meant what she said though so Erin would have to be comforted with knowing there were so many places in Virginia to put a body if it came to that.

“When I was growing up it was just my dad and I.” she said as she finished another glass of Moscato. She flagged the bartender, pointed, and he nodded.

“What happened to your mother?”

“She left us when I was six years old. My father came from money; old New England money. I mean they aren’t the Prentisses or anything like that but they were quite comfortable. My mother really married up and looked forward to a life of hedonistic luxury.

“Imagine her surprise when she found out she picked a humble PhD who was content to teach history at Fordham. After nearly a decade she couldn’t take it anymore. She wanted all of life to be a party so she ran off to do just that. She ran off with my Uncle Nathan.”

“Ouch.”

“So it was just Dad and I. My father is a brilliant man. He’s also an incredibly quiet and shy man. Daddy had three friends and he never branched out. I um…I got his social skills. By the time I was ten, some people thought I might have some form of autism I was so quiet.

“To encourage me, my father put me in debate camp at Chapin. I remember before my first speech I threw up in the back so much he thought he was going to have to take me to the hospital. But I went out there and I nailed it. For the next two years it was pretty much the same thing. I would throw up backstage but go out on stage and this swan would emerge.

“Eventually, the vomiting subsided. By the time I graduated from high school I was the top female debater in the state of New York and one of the top 5 in the country. My father made me vocal but he couldn’t help me be social. I don’t have any friends; I've never had friends.”

“I don’t understand that.” Dave replied. “You're beautiful, smart, and have a lot to offer the world. Those people over there,” his eyes traveled to a table filled with her colleagues. “They want to be your friends.”

“I doubt I even know how. I'm in my 40s now.”

“But you were married? You socialized enough to do that.”

“My husband was similar to my mother. He was what I needed him to be until he got what he wanted. Then he tried to change me. My father was always dead set against my going into the FBI. He supported me, always, but would’ve much preferred if I became a scholar like him.

“Liam supported me too, or at least I thought he did. Then as soon as we were married he wanted me to follow him around the world as he made a name for himself. He thought I would give up everything to be Mrs. Liam Bixby. I couldn’t do that. This is all I have.”

“It doesn’t have to be.”

“Well it is.” Erin replied. She held up her wineglass, now full, and then drank half.

“When did he die?” Dave asked.

“Who?”

“Liam. I heard you were a widow.”

“Oh,” Erin laughed some. “He’s been dead to me for a long time but he’s very much alive. He left me when Teddy was almost two. Now he’s a check dad, sends money every month that I don’t need. It’ll be a nice 18th birthday gift for his son.”

“He doesn’t see Ted at all?”

“No. He calls every year on Christmas and his birthday but those conversations are starting to get awkward so I assume they’ll stop soon. Ted’s not a little boy anymore; in awe of his father traveling the world doing whatever it is he's doing. Liam loses his patience with people who are no longer in awe of him.”

“What happened to your left hand?” Dave asked.

Hell, he may as well put it out there. This was his chance to find out more. Erin was such a fascinating woman to him and he wanted to know as much as he possibly could. Her history was surely interesting but he wanted to know about her now. He didn’t quite believe her when she said things like there was nothing to know.

There was something to know about everyone…so many stories to tell. He just couldn’t believe that the woman sitting in front of him was nothing more than a top-notch FBI Agent. Even if her happiness was mostly in her memories and imagination, he wanted to listen to every word. He just had no idea how he could get her to tell it to him.

Dave smirked to himself, wondering how well she handled her liquor. No, it seemed as if she’d been taken advantage of and abandoned enough. She was alone in the world because it was the only way to be safe from harm. That wasn’t true though. Someone could still hurt you, but the problem was that no one would be there to see you to the other side.

“I had an accident.” She replied.

“When?”

“It was about a decade ago; Ted was a toddler. Let’s just say I got into a fight with a car door and I lost.”

“I hope you shot it.” Dave gave her a smile.

“I wish.” Erin sighed, looking at her watch, it was almost ten o’clock. “I need to go home now. I don't like leaving Ted alone all the time. Doing it for work is bad enough but this…”

“I can give you a ride.”

“No, I'm fine.”

“C'mon Erin, let me give you a ride. Please.”

She sighed, climbing down from the bar stool. She quickly finished her glass of wine and smoothed out her clothes.

“Alright. I'm just going to visit the ladies room, say goodnight to everyone, and we can meet at the door.”

“Good. I’ll settle your tab.” Dave said.

“You absolutely will not.”

“I will and I won't let you argue with me.”

“Don’t think I'm going to…”

“Oh what?” he was exasperated. “I'm not going to try to get in your pants because I paid for your drinks. Dammit woman, I'm just trying to be nice. Just let me be nice.”

“Fine.” Erin mumbled, turning to walk away.

Dave could tell from her walk that she was a little tipsy. It was probably nothing to worry about but taking her home was for the best. She surely wasn’t going to drive and why put her in a cab when he could do it himself.

000

“Where’s your car?” she asked when they got to the corner of the block.

“Right there.” Dave pointed.

“Are you kidding me?” Erin looked at him. Her blue eyes were wide, unbelieving.

“No, I'm not kidding.”

“I'm not getting on that thing.”

“How am I supposed to take you home?”

“Just forget it Dave, I’ll hail a cab. I need to be in something with doors; something with four wheels.”

She looked again at the motorcycle. She had no idea what kind it was, just that it was big. It was silver and black and looked like it packed some punch. Erin didn’t think she could handle punch tonight.

“C'mon, haven’t you ever wanted to feel the wind over your face, Erin? Over your body? Haven’t you ever wanted to feel as if you were flying?”

“Not in the least.” She shook her head.

“I'm taking you home on this motorcycle.”

Not waiting for an answer, Dave took hold of her hand and walked over to the bike. He pulled a helmet from under the seat, handing it to her.

“Put this on…safety first.”

Not knowing what the hell she was thinking, Erin did what he told her. She watched him straddle the machine and then he told her to climb on behind him. Again, she did what he asked. This was insane…when had Erin become insane?

“I'm scared.” She finally admitted, her voice seeming to echo with that thing on her head. Erin felt like she was in a fishbowl. She suddenly had a memory of a colander on her head, play fencing with her dad in their Central Park West condo. Did other kids do that?

“You never have to be afraid with me.” Dave’s voice turned soft. “Just hold on to my hips and don’t let go. I’ll get you home safe and sound, I promise.”

“Don’t drive too fast David, the streets are wet.”

“I won't.”

“Put on your helmet.” She said.

“Yes ma'am. Any other commands you want to give me?”

“No, that’s it. And don’t call me ma'am.”

Dave nodded, laughing. He put his helmet on and then started the engine. He loved the roar; it always made him feel alive. There were things he couldn’t do now. It wasn’t because he was too old but the nagging injuries from the ambush in New Mexico made it impossible.

When he was on his bike he never felt defective or washed up. He just felt free. With her arms almost around him, Dave was feeling something else entirely. Free was nice but this was pure heaven. Erin gripped him tighter as he made his way out of the parking space and into heavy DC traffic.

She lived in Foggy Bottom, which was a 20 minute ride across town but with the slick roads and the heavy traffic it would be a longer ride tonight. He didn’t mind and he wasn’t sure if his companion did either. Erin just held onto him. She didn’t make a sound or a move. At one red light, Dave checked to make sure she was alright. The last thing he needed was her falling asleep back there. Not that that was really even possible.

“I'm fine.” She said. “You told me to hold on and don’t let go.”

“Yes, but I didn’t tell you to be so silent you freaked me out.” Dave replied.

“The light’s green.”

As she said it, a car honked and Dave was tempted to flip the bird as he moved out into the intersection. He bit down on his urge and just kept going. It was a nice night, a nice night for a ride. He wished he was taking her somewhere other than home.

Maybe one of these days he could convince Erin to go out on the road with him. Dave thought he had a better chance of convincing her to climb Mount Kilimanjaro in high heel shoes and a mini-dress. He had no idea why they rarely came to a mutual understanding on anything. She was the most perplexing human being he’d ever met. Dammit if that didn’t make him want to know her more.

“Home sweet home.” Dave pulled up in front of the Watergate East complex. He cut the engine, put down the kickstand, and his feet relaxed on the pavement. “Erin? Erin, are you OK?”

“Mmm hmm.” She mumbled. It took a few minutes to get her bearings but she got the helmet off and climbed off the back of the bike.

“Thank you for the ride.”

“Maybe one of these days I can take you for a real one. There is no freedom like the open road. I know how stressful the job can be and…”

“No thank you, David.”

“Why not?” he asked. Dave told himself a million times it would be a bad idea to push her. He’d never been good at listening to orders, even his own.

“We’re not…” Erin sighed. “It’s not a good idea. I need to go inside.”

She went to walk away but he took hold of her wrist.

“Get off me.” She said.

“Erin, I want to know why nothing I do is ever enough to break through that solid brick wall. What do I have to do?”

“You don’t have to do anything. I'm not that woman OK…you're not getting anything out of me.”

“You can say that again.”

Her other hand came up to slap his face. Dave grunted from the sting. He grabbed her wrist tighter and then she kissed him. She full on kissed him right there on the sidewalk. Dave was shocked, but not as shocked as she was.

Erin pried his hand off of her and ran into the building. He couldn’t believe she ran away from him. He definitely couldn’t believe she kissed him. Rubbing his cheek, Dave was floored that she slapped him. Fuck, she hit hard for a woman.

Not as hard as his third ex-wife but hard nonetheless. Stamping down the instinct to chase after her and ask what the hell was going on, Dave put the helmet on the back of the bike and took off. Tonight had been eye-opening enough. It was better to face whatever this was in the morning.

***

“Hey Ted.” Dave said when the teenager opened the door.

“Hey, come in.”

“Is your mom here? Wow, this conversation sounds like déjà vu.”

“Yeah, a little bit.” Ted smiled. “She’s upstairs resting; I'm about to head out to meet Jordan in Georgetown.”

“Is Erin ill?”

“I don't think so. She seemed upset but didn’t tell me why. Sometimes she just goes to these places and needs to get back on her own.”

“Does she suffer from depression?” Dave asked, only thinking afterwards that the question was too personal. Even if she did, her son might not know. Kids didn’t need to know that about parents and here he was planting the seed in Ted’s head. Good job, Rossi, he thought to himself.

“No, she just doesn’t have anyone to heap all the crap on, you know. Like when I feel like I want to punch holes into walls, I call Jonny or Jordan. They listen to me vent and sometimes that’s all I need. When it’s a really big problem I talk to Mom or Grandpa and they always help. My mom doesn’t talk to anyone anymore; she thinks she can fix everything. Sometimes you just can't fix it on your own. She taught me that but doesn’t always listen to her own advice.”

“How did you get so smart?”

“I think it’s all the pesticides in the fruits and vegetables.” Ted replied.

Dave smirked.

“Well, I don’t want to make you late meeting your friend. You don’t mind if I go up and see her do you?”

“She probably won't like it…go ahead. If pressed I’ll say you pushed your way past me.”

“You got it.”

“Bye Dave.” Ted threw on his backpack and grabbed his bottle of Vitamin Water as he headed for the door. He stopped halfway there. “It’s OK that I call you Dave, right? I know it seems late to be asking now but I don’t want to be disrespectful. I mean, I shouldn’t call you Agent Rossi or Mr. Rossi or something.”

“You're not disrespectful.” Dave shook his head. “Don’t you ever call me Agent Rossi or Mr. Rossi. Dave is just fine.”

“OK.” He smiled. “See ya.”

“Bye Ted.”

He left and Dave was standing alone between the foyer and the living room. It was a great condo, two floors and very well decorated. He wondered just how much old money the Strausses came from. One thing he did know, Erin Strauss was not living paycheck to paycheck by any stretch of the imagination. It was something he meant to check out but got wrapped up in too many other things researching for the book. Then the case came along and that made things even more interesting.

He almost felt as if he was in the FBI again, which was very dangerous. He sighed and headed for the stairs. Dave realized that he didn't know which room was hers but it seemed probable that she slept in the master bedroom. The door was closed so he headed to the other end of the hall first…Ted’s room was in the back. He knew it was wrong but he poked his head in.

It looked like the typical bedroom of a kid about to turn 14. Clothes were on the floor but not enough that you couldn’t see the deep purple carpet. There were some posters on the wall; _The Dark Knight, The Empire Strikes Back, Scream, Halloween_ , and _The Devil’s Rejects_. He had an art desk in the corner and a few fresh drawings scattered on his bed.

The bookshelves were crammed with tattered paperbacks but Dave couldn’t see the authors from the doorway. He wondered if any of them were his. Feeling as if he was invaded Ted’s space and overstepping so many boundaries, he backed out and went up the hall to the master bedroom. Taking a deep breath, he tapped on the door.

“What did you forget, kiddo?”

“It’s Dave, Erin, not Ted.”

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

Erin was laying her bed in a bathrobe. She wasn’t wearing any makeup and her hair was in a neat ponytail. She wore fuzzy yellow slipper socks on her feet that made Dave smile despite it all. He pushed the door open some and stepped into the room. She didn’t yell for him to get out so they were off to a good start.

“I was told that you’ve never taken a sick day. Almost 20 years in the FBI and other than maternity leave you're always at work. Well today you weren't and people were worried. Of course no one would bother you, you're allowed days off, but after what happened last night…”

“I drank too much.” Erin replied. “I made an ass of myself and I just needed the day to recover. You didn’t have to come and check on me.”

“I wanted to. Can I sit?”

She wanted to say no, but nodded instead. Dave sat on the side of the bed right beside her feet. For a while they didn’t even speak to each other and that just made Erin more uneasy. What the hell was he doing there?

Just looking at him reminded her of that kiss. This hadn't been what Erin was thinking when she said she wanted to live a little. Things quickly slid out of her control; first Elle and now this. It was a horrible feeling and she refused to let her drama take precedence over her case.

“I brought you tea and muffins.” He handed her the cup and the bag. “I guess coffee’s probably better for a hangover but I didn’t really know what was wrong.”

“Thanks.” Erin took the tea and put the bag on the nightstand. She sipped it and smiled. How the hell did he know how much honey to put in it? Had he profiled that as well?

“Last night didn’t end like I wanted it to.” Dave said.

“Did you think I was going to invite you in?” Erin asked.

“That wasn’t what I meant and I think you know that. I don’t want to fight with you, Erin. I actually thought we were getting on a little better. The animosity came back out of nowhere. I know it might be strange to have someone tailing you for a few months to write a book.

“In the beginning I didn’t really think about that. I didn’t know you so maybe I assumed you would be flattered or impressed or what I have no idea. I get now that it’s not the most awesome thing ever. But don’t you think it might be a little more bearable if we tried to get along?”

“I don’t know why I can't be nicer to you.” she said it almost to herself. He was getting too close. Why couldn’t she just tell him so? Because it made no sense, that’s why.

“Do I smell? Should I wear different cologne or put on a tie? Whatever you want me to do I’ll do it because I don’t want to fight. I like you, Erin, and I don’t want to fight anymore.”

“You hardly know me, how can you like me?”

“You won't let me get close enough to know you. That doesn’t mean I don’t like what I know so far.” Dave turned on the bed and looked at her. Her eyes were downcast, as if she were truly interested in what was in her cup. “I don’t know what you heard about me but I'm not trying to make you a notch on my belt, Erin. I respect you as a woman and an FBI agent, that’s the reason you're my muse. I'm not gonna use my superior wit or classic Hollywood good looks to seduce you.”

“Classic Hollywood good looks?” she raised an eyebrow when she looked at him.

“Too much?”

“A little too much.”

“Can we just start over? I know it’s been a month and we have preconceived notions about each other but I'm game if you are. I think we can both learn something good from this experience.”

She sighed, not saying anything. Erin wasn’t really sure what to say. He was obnoxious, and rather cocky, but he was also brilliant. Those other things were just one side of him. For so many years she hated that people only saw that one side of her and here she was judging Dave the same way.

“Supervisory Special Agent Erin Strauss,” she extended her hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“David Rossi.” He shook her hand. “The pleasure is entirely mine.”

Erin slipped her hand out of his. Dave smiled.

“Now what?” he asked.

“I honestly don’t know. Do you expect me to solve everything, David?”

He looked at her and she was smiling. It wasn’t a full on, beaming grin but it was a little something. It was enough for him to hold on to.

“What are you doing today?” he asked, wondering if she would give him a straight answer.

“I was planning to curl up with some _West Wing_ DVDs and shut out the whole world. I know I should be working the case but I left it in capable hands for one day. I need to step away.”

“I think you should do what everyone does when they call out sick on a beautiful summer day. Have an adventure.”

“You want to have an adventure?” she asked.

“Damn skippy. “Dave nodded. “We’ve just met, again, we need to have a little fun.”

“If this ends up in your book…”

“I know, I know, milk carton, places to hide a body; I get it.” he wished he could tell her it wasn’t just about the book anymore. But there was so much going on in Dave’s head he didn’t even know where to start. When he felt like that keeping his mouth shut was the best way to go. “I'm not going to violate your trust or step too much into your space. I promise. I'm just in the mood for some fun. Revisiting an old case won't be fun today.”

“I need to take a shower, make myself presentable to the world.” Erin said.

“I’ll wait.”

“Not in here, you won't.” She gently pushed his shoulder and he stood. “You can wait downstairs. I’ll be down in a little while.”

Dave nodded, heading for the door. When Erin called his name he stopped.

“How did you get past Ted this morning?”

“Oh, I roughed him up some. He didn’t have a choice but to let me through.”

“Yeah right.” Erin rolled her eyes as she got off the bed. “Sometimes I think you two are in cahoots.”

Dave walked out of the bedroom with a grin on his face. That was the first time he’d ever really done that without something naughty happening.

***

“I’m telling you; blue is a good color on you.”

She wore a silver blue v-neck shirt with white linen pants and blue flats. Her blonde hair was down today, shoulder length, and it made her look effortlessly summer-like. It was really the first time he’d seen Erin look so effortless. His mother told him once that beauty was hard work. His first ex-wife used the same excuse to spend hours in the master bathroom. With Erin it didn’t seem so. How did she do it?

“What are you doing here?” Erin looked up from her work and saw Dave leaning in the doorway of the conference room. “Reid said you were at the doctor today.”

“It was just for the morning. I planned to come in this afternoon. What are you working on?”

“I'm laying it all on the line. Come in, and close the door.”

Rossi did as she asked. Pictures and notes were scattered all over the room. It was a big table and he could hardly see any of the wood. She’d posted pictures of all of Christopher Dean Hollander’s victims on a white board. A picture of Nina Nichols was next to his last one, Lesley Tolliver, with a question mark beside her.

“What if I've been wrong?” she asked.

“What do you mean?”

“We know that 85% of homicide victims are killed by someone they know. Right?”

“Yeah.” he nodded.

“And of those 85%, over 50 are killed by intimates.”

“I'm with you.”

“What if that isn’t the case with Nina Nichols? What if The Astrology Murders are back?”

“Hollander is dead.” Rossi replied.

“Well I know that. I'm really not thinking he came back from the dead to finish the job. But I am thinking there's a copycat on our hands.”

“There haven’t been any other bodies. Not that I want there to be but Hollander killed frequently. There were bodies about every three weeks until we caught him. If the copycat is obsessed with him, he knows that.”

“Sure, but everyone has a signature.” Erin said.

“That defeats the purpose of being called a copycat.”

“You're arguing with me on purpose.” Exasperation was obvious in her tone.

“No,” he held up his hand shaking his head. “I just want to know your thoughts. I want to make sure we’re on the same page.”

“My thoughts are that nothing has connected in weeks of investigating. No one in Nina Nichols’ life seems capable of this; even people on the fringes. What if she was stalked by someone she didn’t even know? If this is his first murder and he’s trying to find his comfort zone…”

“…he might rely on something he already knows.” Rossi finished her sentence.

“Exactly.” Erin nodded. “Morgan and Reid are going over everything with people that knew her one more time. They’re going to gather a lot of mileage on that SUV today. I'm here working the stranger angle. I'm hoping by the end of the day we might have a new road to go down.”

“I had a case once.” Rossi sat down at the table and Erin joined him. “It was one of my last cases in the BAU. I was in Cleveland on a book tour and a met a young woman named Zoë. She tried to convince me there was a serial killer operating in their town. I dismissed her too casually; I'm bombarded by so many people sometimes. I don’t always remember that a little attention can go a long way.”

Dave stopped for a moment, gathered himself. In his dreams sometimes he still saw her. She was so young; a nice girl with a bright future ahead of her. All he needed to do was listen for a few minutes but he was too busy. Doing what, Rossi had no idea. It was hard not to blame himself for what happened next. Some cases came and went while others lived with you for the rest of your life.

“Anyway, she was murdered and we went to Cleveland to find a serial killer. It turns out the creep was a copycat…recreated a series of murders from across the decades. Zoë stumbled upon him one night while playing amateur detective. He strangled her to keep his secret and in doing so discovered his own signature.”

“Did you catch the guy?” Erin asked.

“Yes.” Dave nodded. “He was a wannabe, like so many of them are. It never ceases to amaze me the things some people will do to be what they consider famous.”

“So why might this guy want to be famous? If it was just a run of the mill murder there would be no point in dragging the FBI down a copycat road. Yet there are things that are different about it; the lack of drugs for one. If you truly wanted to copy Hollander, you wouldn’t leave that out.”

“You would if you couldn’t get access to them.” Rossi said. “Hollander was a vet’s assistant; that’s how he got the Nembutal.”

“Still, you can get coke and roofies from the neighborhood drug dealer.” Erin said. “That’s an important hole to leave open if you're emulating your idol. There’s something we’re not seeing and I'm thinking if we reexamine the Hollander case alongside Nina Nichols we might find it. If we don’t, I can't even contemplate what to do next. Then we’ll need a miracle.”

“Then let’s do it.” Rossi replied. “I think we’re gonna need coffee though. How does coffee sound?”

“Like the best thing I've heard all day.” Erin closed her eyes, reaching her hand back to rub the nape of her neck. She sighed. A headache was already forming at the base of her skull and it was barely two o’clock. “They had some really fattening cheese danishes down in the cafeteria too.”

“You want one?” Rossi smiled as he stood up from the chair.

“Mmm hmm.” She dragged the words out.

“I’m on it. We’ll have caffeine, calories, and we’ll see what we come up with.”

“I want to solve this case, David.”

“I know you do. All we can do is keep shaking the tree until something falls out.”

“Or it topples over on us.” Erin replied.

“That’s not the most pleasant thought.” He went to the door. “I’ll be right back. You stay here and keep those positive thoughts flowing.”

***

“Happy birthday dear Spencer, happy birthday to you. And many more!”

“Blow out the candles, youngster.” Morgan clapped the skinny young man on the back.

“Don’t forget to make a wish.” Garcia reminded him.

“Right.”

He nodded, thought for a few minutes, closed his eyes, and blew out the 25 flickering candles on the chocolate cake. They all cheered and Spencer smiled. The team was taking him out for his birthday. It began with Morgan deciding to take the kid to a club so he could have a good time and get laid. He thought of buying Spencer a ‘friend’ but that was still illegal, even if he knew a girl he could call.

So he’d take him to Isis instead, where all the beautiful girls in the city congregated. Of course Garcia wanted in on the action so Morgan told her to come along. She invited her boyfriend Kevin and her best friend JJ, who was actually in town for a change. Being a media liaison with the BAU kept her pretty busy. When Rossi heard about it, he was all over it. When he heard where it was gonna be he told Morgan he knew a guy and they could make it a real party.

Derek wasn’t prepared to turn something like that down. Now they were in the VIP room enjoying expensive drinks and personal service. Spencer went down to the morgue himself and invited Sam. He’d always been nice to the young man, to everyone really, and he should come along as well. Gideon politely declined an invitation. Isis wasn’t his kind of place and he’d already given Spencer a birthday gift.

Erin also politely declined. She wasn’t a club person though she did thank Morgan for thinking about her. He pushed her a little bit; was one of the few people who could. She held firm to her decision. He eventually gave up. Rossi picked up the ball later, having no idea what he was walking into.

 _“Did Morgan send you over here to bug me?” she asked when he asked her if she was coming tonight._

 _“I don't know what you're talking about.”_

 _“Mmm hmm, right.”_

 _“Erin, I'm serious.” Rossi held up his hands in defense. “I honestly wasn’t sure if anyone asked you.”_

 _“Morgan harassed me…I declined.”_

 _“Why?”_

 _“I don’t like clubs.” She replied dismissively as she shuffled the paperwork on her desk. “I have work to do; there's a case to solve.”_

 _“Isn't there always? You're often the last person to leave at night and one of the first ones here in the morning. I should know…I'm doing my best to keep up with you.”_

 _“Jason is here later than I am.”_

 _“I hope you're not using that as a defense.” Dave leaned in really close to whisper. “Jason doesn’t have a life.”_

 _“You're mean.” Erin suppressed a grin._

 _“Yeah, but I'm cute. Admit it.”_

 _“Rossi…”_

 _“I'm just a little cute.” He held up his thumb and forefinger with a bit of space between them._

 _“Mmm, maybe this much.” she pressed his two fingers together. “Yeah, that looks about right.”_

 _“Woman, you cut so deep.”_

 _“Give me my three feet of personal space please.” Her voice was firm but he saw the laughter in her eyes._

 _“I will if you come out with us.” Rossi countered._

 _“That’s blackmail.”_

 _Erin glanced at him. She didn’t want to look at him; he was just too close._

 _“Just come out, Erin. It’s for Spencer and he likes you. Your co-workers like you, it’s a great summer night, and we’re VIP. Don’t say no…let go and live for the moment.”_

 _Erin sighed. She started stacking her folders._

 _“You don’t know me that well. Perhaps I let go a lot.”_

 _“Good, then tonight should be no problem.”_

 _“Fine.” She sighed. “I’ll go, now go away.”_

 _Dave wanted to make her promise but knew that was pushing it. So he just grinned and clapped. “This is gonna be great.”_

“Time for a shot.” Dave said, lifting the bottle of Jameson’s as pulsing beats played all around them.

“A shot of what?” Reid looked at him.

“A shot of liquid courage, young man.” Morgan grinned as he handed out shot glasses.

“Huh?”

“Just go with the flow, Spencer.” Sam patted him on his shoulder. “It’s your birthday.”

“OK.”

Everyone had a shot and Dave held up his glass.

“To Spencer on his 25th birthday.” He said.

“To Spencer.”

They all downed the liquor. Spencer coughed, sputtered, and drank some Coke. Erin rubbed his back since she was sitting next to him.

“Are you alright?” she asked.

“Um…” he coughed again. “Probably.”

“Oh my God.” Morgan whistled. “Damn.”

Everyone followed his eyes and spotted Elle and Austin headed in their direction. They were both wearing red mini dresses with matching heels. Austin’s brown hair was up while Elle let hers flow past her shoulders.

“Double damn.” Rossi muttered.

“I'm a married man.” Sam covered his eyes.

“And he’s too young.” Rossi covered Reid’s eyes but the young agent still peeked through his fingers.

“Hey there.” Austin said, leaning on the table.

“Hey.” All the guys sang in unison. The women said a proper hello.

“I was hoping I could get the birthday boy for a dance.” She said.

“Absolutely.” Morgan said, pulling Reid to his feet before he could object.

Reid tried to speak but found himself tongue tied. He’d been attracted to Austin forever but never made it past the pleasantries and smiling like a doofus every time she said something. Morgan pulled him out of the semi-circular booth, handing him over to Austin like a trophy.

“I um…” he smiled at his lack of words. Spencer Reid never lacked words.

“Don’t worry Spencer, I'm gonna take real good care of you.”

“I'm a bit afraid of that.” the words finally tumbled out of his mouth.

She laughed, pulling him toward the dance floor as _Womanizer_ pumped out of the speakers.

“Go get ‘em tiger!” Morgan exclaimed.

Elle watched them go and then turned to everyone else at the table.

“You're looking good, Elle.” Morgan said.

“This old thing?” she ran her hands over her body. “I found it in the back of my closet.”

“I bet it’s happy.” Kevin replied, gasping when Garcia elbowed him.

“So um,” Elle pushed her hair behind her ear. “You think you might wanna dance, Agent Strauss?”

“No, thank you.” Erin shook her head.

“I would.” Dave raised his hand.

“Oh c'mon,” Elle held out her hand. “It'll be a lot of fun. Who doesn’t like Britney Spears?”

“Elle…”

“Go on Erin, dance a little.” Sam said. “It’s a party after all.”

“Sounds like fun to me.” Penelope chimed in, sipping her martini.

Erin looked at them and then back at Elle. She could see the twinkle in her eye. She almost opened her mouth to say ‘I said one night only’ but bit her lip instead. Erin sighed, taking the hand offered to her. Morgan was once again sliding from the booth to let her out. Elle moved her arm around Erin’s waist as they out to the dance floor.

“You're playing with fire, Greenaway.” She whispered.

“Trust me when I tell you, it hasn’t even begun to get hot yet.”

Erin wasn’t the world’s best dancer. She could hold her own, mostly, and usually not make an ass of herself. Elle held her close, her breasts pressed on Erin’s back as their hips moved to the beat. Her one hand rested on Erin’s hip while the other moved across her stomach. It flitted up a few times, over her breast and collarbone before moving back down.

“Elle…”

“Feel the music.” Elle whispered.

 _Daddy-o, you got the swagger of a champion  
To bad for you, you can't find the right companion  
I guess when you have one too many, makes it hard, it could be easy  
Who you are, that’s just who you are baby  
Lollipop…must mistake me for a sucker  
To think I would be a victim not another  
Say it, play it, how you want it  
But no way I'm never gonna fall for you never you baby_

“I'm glad you're here; would’ve been a damn shame to waste this erotic energy on those sweaty boys. I’d much rather sweat with you. You look good tonight, Erin.”

Erin had gone home to change before meeting them at the club. She didn’t know why but figured if she was going then she damn sure wasn’t going looking like a tired FBI Agent. She opted instead for a black pencil skirt that brushed her knees, black kitten heel slides, and a silver sequined shirt with one shoulder strap and the other bare. That was the shoulder Elle gently bit. Erin’s knees went a little weak as she was spun around so that she and Elle were face to face. They were also torso to torso.

“I really like the way you move.” Elle said, slipping her arms around her neck.

“You should watch your feet.” Erin replied. “I'm not that good.”

“Oh you're all good. And my eyes are concentrating on much more important things than your feet, Erin Strauss.”

“Oh my God, I cannot believe I'm gonna say this, and I will run you guys down with my truck if it ever goes beyond this table, but this is going in my Top 10 sexiest moments.” Morgan said as he enjoyed the dance from across the room.

“Top 5 for sure.” Rossi replied tilting his head to the left as the two women slithered together. He clicked a few pictures on his iPhone.

“I was going to say.” Sam covered his eyes again, mumbling something about being a married man.

“Who put the fun dip in Strauss’ drink?” Penelope asked. “It’s hard to make it out from here but I think that’s a smile on her face. She hasn’t smiled since Clinton was in office.”

“Baby girl, I don't know anyone who wouldn’t smile getting that kind of attention from Elle Greenaway. I've reconsidered…Top 5 for damn sure.”

“I know right?” Rossi held out his fist and Morgan bumped it. “What I wouldn’t give to be a fly on the wall.”

“Do all men have the girl on girl…?”

“Yes.” They said in unison before JJ could get the whole question out.

“Oh God.” She rolled her eyes.

“Some women do too.” Rossi said. “Erin doesn’t look that uncomfortable out there.”

“She’s as straight as an arrow.” Sam replied.

“How do you know for sure?” Rossi asked.

“Because anything else is too damn hot to contemplate.” Morgan said. “I got enough to deal with…do not make me fantasize about Strauss. I beg of you man.”

“Then I guess you don’t want this scene in the book.” Rossi said.

“If it’s not in the book,” Garcia said. “I'm not buying it.”

“The master has spoken.” Rossi grinned and went back to enjoying the show.

When Erin came back to the table, she downed the rest of her martini. A pretty barmaid was there with another in a matter of moments. Erin downed half of it. When she looked at Dave, she rolled her eyes.

“Wipe that ridiculous grin off your face.” She said.

“The way you were dancing out there with Elle, you should be wearing the ridiculous grin. It looked like you were having fun for a change.”

“I succumbed to peer pressure; that’s all.”

“I’ll take that kind of peer pressure any day.” Morgan said. “The last time I succumbed to peer pressure I ended up in front of a sorority house with a jockstrap on my head.”

“Oh my God,” Penelope and JJ laughed.

“Sweet cheeks you’ve got to tell us that story.” Penelope said.

“Never.”

“I can't believe I just did that.” Erin mumbled.

“You looked like you had fun.” Sam said. “There's no harm in having fun, Erin…this is a party. That’s what you're supposed to do.”

“I just don’t want…nevermind.” She finished her drink, deciding whether to have another or to just run out of there as fast as her legs would take her. That probably wasn’t a good idea since that dance with Elle left her legs feeling like Jell-O.

Everyone around her was having a blast including Spencer, who was still out on the floor with Austin. The music was pumping, the liquor flowing, and the conversations light. There was a part of her that wanted to get back there, get back to where her co-workers were. She just had no idea how to do it.

***

"You should date more." Ted leaned on his mother's door frame.

"Yeah?" Erin came out of her thoughts. She’d brought work home tonight but had put it away about an hour ago. It was time to clear her mind. "Well, you should get a haircut. Apparently we don’t listen to each other at all."

"Mom, I'm serious. You haven’t dated since..."

“That was a long time ago, honey. In fact its truly ancient history."

"I know! You're making my point for me. You're my mom, I'm a bit biased on how awesome you are but I stand by it. There is much more to life than the FBI, no matter how much you kick ass at it."

"Who would I even date?" Erin asked, not wanting to have this conversation. She knew Ted though; she wasn’t getting off that easy. "Don’t even say it, Ted."

"I know that's over." Ted replied. "I was actually thinking about the gorgeous brunette who runs that bar, but..."

"I don’t date criminals, Edward, reformed or otherwise. I also don’t date women if you hadn’t noticed." Sleeping with them seemed to be OK. Oh my God, if he ever found out about that she would die. Erin’s heart would seriously cease to beat and she would die.

"Yeah, that's the but. What about Dave Rossi?"

"What about him?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Oh c'mon, you like him, Mom."

"No I don’t!"

"You said that too fast and too loud." Ted pointed at her. "I think you'd be happy with either Dave or Elle. I'm leaning toward Dave cuz I'd fantasize about Elle and it’s probably wrong to fantasize about your mom's girlfriend."

"Probably wrong?"

"OK, definitely wrong." He grinned. "Good, Dave wins."

"My life is not a game, Edward, and I wouldn’t date David Rossi if he were the last man on Earth."

"What's so wrong with him?" Ted walked in and sat on the bed. He really looked at his mother.

"Ted..."

"This isn’t about me, Mom, I promise. I don’t need a Dad or another Mom; I mean that. This is about you. The FBI won’t last forever and I'd rather do algebra problems all day than to see you all alone. Dave is smart, rich, funny, and stable...and he totally adores you."

"You think he adores me?" Erin's ears perked up but then she shook her head. "Stop it. David and I work together and hopefully that won’t even last too much longer. Also, he's not that funny and clearly unstable. I'll concede that he's smart and rich."

"Mom..."

"I'll make you a deal. You stop harassing me about David and Elle and I promise I’ll get a life."

"You promise?"

It was funny how much Ted sounded like her father when he was serious about something.

"Yes." Erin nodded. She was painting herself into a corner...she never broke promises to her son. "I get invited places, occasionally asked out; next time I will take someone up on their offer."

"Well good." Ted smiled. "I don’t want you to be alone Mom; I want you to be happy. I love you, so I'm allowed to look after you and badger when necessary."

"I love you too but isn’t it supposed to be the other way around? I'm supposed to look after you." She asked, kissing his cheek. Erin laughed when Ted crinkled his nose. He could be so caring and mature one minute and totally thirteen the next.

"How about we just say it’s a little bit of both, apply as needed."

***

“You know what we have?” Erin asked.

“What?”

“We have nothing. We have a whole lot of absolutely, positively nothing. I think we've interviewed everyone who ever encountered Nina, more than once. We set up a tip line; chased down every crazy lead. We found the car and Morgan and Reid beat that into the ground.

“We talked to all the park rangers, the possible witnesses, and traveled from Lexington to Shenandoah to McLean to DC and back…three times. We even got a video, and you know what, it doesn’t show us a damn thing but our victim buying soda and snacks. We have nothing, Rossi.”

“Well when you put it like that…”

“The old case isn’t even helping. We ripped that case apart and we still couldn’t find anything. Dammit.” She put her face in her hands. Erin didn’t want to look at this anymore tonight. She wasn’t sure she wanted to look at it anymore at all. It had been over three weeks and they were going nowhere. Nina Nichols was murdered by a shadow. And no other bodies had showed up to prove the copycat serial killer theory.

“I think its right here in front of us.” Dave said. “We've got too much information for it not to be in here somewhere.”

“That’s the problem. Have you ever had too much information?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t want to do this anymore. I just…I need to get out of here.”

“It’s after nine o’clock.” Dave looked at his watch. “Calling it a night is probably a good idea. Do you need to head home?”

“What kind of question is that?”

“I thought it was a simple one. I thought we could grab a bite to eat; maybe talk.”

“I can't have my brain picked tonight. I'm too tired.”

“I'm not gonna be a pain.” He replied.

“Somehow I doubt that.” Erin looked at him.

“OK, I might be but I’ll be charming and handsome while doing it. I promise.”

That got her to smile. There was nothing waiting for her at home; Ted was visiting his grandfather for the week in New York. She wasn’t going to do anything but have a stiff drink, a shower, and lie in bed. Erin was sure sleep wouldn’t come easy tonight. Ever since they got this case it ran through her mind on constant loop.

She wasn’t sure if she was missing something right under her nose or just losing her mind. They worked every angle; they worked it hard, and didn’t have a single answer for Nina’s loved ones. She hated that. Some cases took time…there were a few she worked over years.

But she hated this one. Erin couldn’t shake the feeling it would get worse before it got better. It was all but cold already. Every agent had their share of unsolved cases; it came with the territory. She didn’t want this one to fall into that category.

“I’ll bite Rossi.” She said. “What do you have in mind?”

000

The ball came flying at her, Erin swung and missed. Muttering expletives, she threw the bat down.

“I suck at this.” She said.

“You don’t suck at it.”

“I'm surrounded by balls…I haven’t hit a thing.”

Dave picked up the bat and walked over to her. Erin had her hands on her hips, looking peevish. It took all he had not to grin. Damn, she was adorable.

“Will you let me help?” he asked.

“OK.”

He stood behind her. He handed her the bat and put his hands on her hips.

“OK, separate your feet like this. That’s good. Your right foot is going to go slightly in front of your left. You need to lean your waist forward,” he pressed his upper body on hers so she would move. “And slouch some.”

“Slouch?” she turned back to look at him. Their faces were too close so Erin looked ahead again. “Slouch; are you serious? I don’t even think I know how to slouch.”

“I'm serious, just a little. Your right shoulder should be down some. Now grip the bat. You want a relaxed grip. Not so relaxed that the thing flies out of your hands when you swing but you can't white knuckle grip it either.”

“This is an awful lot of rules for one swing.”

“Baseball is not for the undisciplined.” He replied. “I thought rules were your thing.”

“Not when I'm having fun…or when I'm supposed to be.”

“Well I'm about to let you go and the ball is coming. Relax, and you're gonna hit it. Don’t worry about foul balls because this isn’t a real game.”

“And because I don’t know what they are.”

“That too.” Dave smiled.

Erin nodded as he slowly backed away. She focused on the ball machine, trying to make sure she didn’t grip the bat too tight. Suddenly the ball was flying in her direction and Erin was swinging. She heard the crack; the ball flew up and over the batting cage.

“I hit it!” she dropped the bat on the ground as she jumped up and down. “I hit it, Dave! I hit it!” Erin’s hips swayed back and forth in a victory dance.

“That was pretty good for a beginner.” Dave said when she looked back at him. He took a moment to register it was the first time she’d called him ‘Dave’. So far he’d just been David and Rossi.

“I want to smack it across the park like Derek Jeter. Wait, he's a hitter right?”

“He’s a batter, yes.” Dave nodded.

“I want to do that.”

“You wanna pull a Jeter; you have to pick up the bat.”

“Right.”

Erin bent down and grabbed it. She tried to remember the stance he showed her. This time she was determined to hit it even harder. It felt so good to smack that baseball; much better than it felt hitting air. She loved the cracking sound.

It was like that time Hotch let her take a baseball bat to a car scheduled to be destroyed. Sometimes you just had to let the frustration out. Erin was well aware that she kept it in too much. Finding healthy outlets, and time for them, was difficult sometimes. This felt perfect though.

000

“Did you play any sports as a kid?” Dave asked.

“Well…”

They were sitting together on the bleachers enjoying the night air. Summer was warm and beautiful in Fairfax, Virginia. On nights like this, with a sky full of shimmering stars, you could almost forget about murderers who dumped bodies in national parks. Erin smoked a Marlboro Mild while Dave leaned back and watched the planes descending into Dulles.

“Well what?” he stopped to look at her.

“What did you play?” Erin asked.

She’s still doing that, Dave thought as he held back a sigh.

“I played baseball as a kid.” He said. “I was very serious about the sport. I never had delusions about going pro or anything but my father always said there was no point in doing anything that you wouldn’t strive to be your best at. He never said the best, always your best.”

“Our dads would probably be friends.” Erin replied, taking a deep inhale on her cigarette. “Is he still alive?”

“No…cancer. Cancer took both my parents within two years of each other.”

“I'm sorry David.”

“Thank you. They were good people and good parents. I think they deserve beatification for raising a hellion like me with patience and love.”

“I was a fencer.” She said.

“Really?”

“Aren't you going to chuckle?” Erin asked.

“Why would I do something like that?”

“I don't know.” She shrugged.

“Well you must know something if you thought I would.” He replied.

“I was All-State at Chapin.” She went on as if he didn’t say anything. “I was All-American; nationally ranked my senior year. Then I was All-American for 3 years at Barnard. I also competed nationally in the Junior Division. My studies overrode my desire to try out for the Olympic team but in my senior year I was NCAA Women’s National Champion.”

“What turned you on to fencing?”

“Now this might make you laugh… _The Pirates of Penzance_. I've loved it since I was a child. I used to make my father play-fence with me all over our house. Then when I was 13 I saw it on Broadway and fell in love with Rex Smith.” Erin smiled. “I knew then I wanted to be a real fencer. It didn’t take long for me to excel.”

“You seem to excel at everything.” Dave replied.

“I'm sure I don’t.” Erin hated when people thought that. She wasn’t perfect. She couldn’t say she wasn’t trying to be but even while doing so she knew it was a fruitless venture.

“What's the one thing you'll always suck at no matter what?” he asked.

“I prefer not to focus on my shortcomings.” She smashed the cigarette under her sneaker. “I have them, we all do, but I'm too busy striving to succeed to worry about the times when I've failed.”

“That’s noble.”

“But I do suck at cooking. Poor Ted; the kid should've starved by now.”

Erin tried her best at cooking just as she did everything else. She didn’t like to think about her failures or her regrets. Her marriage failed and there were times she regretted even meeting Liam Bixby. Still, without him in her life she would’ve never had Ted and he was amazing. The relationship, for all its drama, couldn’t be considered a failure. Or maybe it was and the conception wasn’t.

“I should get home.” She stood up and stretched her arms over her head. That exposed a bit of her torso but Erin was too tired to care. “Thanks for this.”

“Everyone needs a night off sometimes.” Dave stood too. “I remember that the job used to consume me. I guess it does for every agent.”

“Every good agent.” She corrected.

“Yeah.” he nodded. “Tomorrow you'll be able to face it all with fresh eyes and a clear perspective. We’ll coordinate all the information; something’s gonna pop.”

“Here’s to hoping.”

They started walking out of the park toward Dave’s car. He drove a little green Mangusta Coupe that went from 0 to 85 in about 60 seconds. Erin had no problem riding shotgun in an $80,000 sports car. It wasn’t as hectic as being on the back of a motorcycle.

“May I ask you something?” she slipped into the car as Dave held the door for her.

“Anything.” He went around, climbing into the driver’s seat.

“Do you mean that?”

“Is that your question?” he raised an eyebrow.

“You don’t even know what I'm talking about.”

“Nope. That’s why I asked was that your question.” Dave started the ignition and headed for University Drive. He was taking her back to DC.

“How did you cope with not being in the FBI anymore?” she asked.

“I spent the first nine months in some form of recovery. All that I had on my mind when I could think was surviving and thriving. After I was on my way again and it all sank in, I just picked up a pen. You can't profit from outside ventures when you're an agent; it’s like a federal agent Son of Sam rule. For years I was never able to take people up on their offers to write books and do speaking engagements. After I retired, those offers saved my life.”

“But Jason writes and lectures all the time.” Erin said.

“I know that. He’s not supposed to profit from it. That means he doesn’t…or he does.”

“Hmm.”

“You thinking of early retirement?” Dave asked.

“What would I do if I left the FBI?”

“You might have a second career in baseball.”

Erin laughed and Dave smiled. He looked at her for a moment before turning back to the road.

“You have a beautiful laugh.”

“Thanks.” She sounded sincere though she stopped laughing.

“Anytime.”

***

It was another Monday morning, another rainy day. The Nina Nichols case was four weeks old and colder than a beer at a football game. Erin didn’t know where to go, who to talk to, or what to pursue next. She and her team, including Rossi, had been through everything with a fine-toothed comb.

She hated to concede defeat, she wouldn’t, but what was next? The Nichols family even put up a $10,000 reward. They hoped greed would trump loyalty. So far no one had taken the bait.

Rossi handed her coffee when she walked over to her desk. Erin thanked him, eyeing him as she put her things away.

“What?” he asked.

“You're here before me.”

“This case was bothering me. I know we’ve gone over it, and over it some more, but I wanted to check again.”

“We’re missing something?”

“I think so but I'm starting to think it’s not in here. We’re missing something out there.”

“Out there is a big ass place, Rossi. Out there is where cases take 20 years and 10 pairs of eyes to get solved.”

“I know.” His nod was solemn. “You’ve done your best Erin.”

“I don’t want to tell that to the Nichols family. They deserve more than that; they deserve justice.”

“I know that too. I...”

“Erin,” Jason came out of his office and stood watching them for a moment. “I need to see you in my office please.”

“Sure,” she turned back to Rossi. “Hold that thought, OK?”

“I can't promise you…my memory isn’t what it used to be.”

Smiling, she walked across the room and into her Unit Chief’s office. Her smile faded when she saw Aaron Hotchner. Standing ramrod straight, Erin put her hands behind her back.

“Have a seat.” Jason said as he went back behind his desk.

“If you don’t mind sir, I prefer standing.”

She always called him sir in formal settings. Two Unit Chiefs in one room, even if she knew them both, was a formal setting. That was especially so when she knew the two in question so personally. What the hell could this be?

“You know Aaron Hotchner.” He said, knowing fair well that she did.

“SSA Hotchner.” Erin extended a hand.

“We don’t need to be so formal.” Hotch put on something resembling a smile as he shook her hand. It had been a while, especially since they were in a situation like this.

“Formal is fine with me.” Erin replied.

“We’re handing the case over to the BAU.” Jason said, not feeling the need to beat around the bush. For one, Erin hated it and he did too. Secondly, there was no way to stop this from being bad. It was better to get it over and done. The rest of the day might be salvaged.

“I'm sorry? What case are you talking about?”

“The Nina Nichols case.”

“For what reason? I'm working the case, Gideon. Yes, we've hit some brick walls but we are far from out of options. Is the BAU hard up?”

“We have reason to believe we’re dealing with a Hollander copycat.” Hotch said. “He’s going to finish out the zodiac if we don’t stop him.”

“What reason do you believe that?” Erin asked. She didn’t look at Hotch; she was still looking at Jason.

“A second body was found early this morning in a park outside Williamsburg. It’s the same M.O. and the victim has the zodiac symbol for Sagittarius tattooed on the inside of her wrist.”

“Dammit.”

“You’ve got plenty of cases on your plate.” Gideon said. “This one is going to the people who specialize in serials.”

“I'm sure I get no say in the matter.” Erin said.

“No.” Jason shook his head. “The Bureau cares about getting it solved. We want to get them all solved. The BAU can solve this one. You’ll give them access to all of your files and information.”

“I don’t have much of a choice.” She couldn’t keep the disdain out of her voice. Erin didn’t want a serial case. She’d had two before and they weren't pretty. Guilt and heartache came with each subsequent victim. That didn’t mean she wanted Aaron Hotchner and the profiler brigade usurping her territory. Surely this was payback for Milwaukee. “Is that all, sir?”

“That’s all. Thank you.”

Erin couldn’t bring herself to say anything else. She just walked out of the room before she lost it. At her desk she began gathering up everything concerning the case. She gave up in a huff, asking Morgan if he could do it for her.

“What's going on?” he and Rossi asked at the same time.

“The BAU is taking our case.” She replied. “They found another body this morning. It’s been a month and the Sagittarius sign was found on the victim. They think it’s a copycat serial killer and, according to our boss, the BAU is better equipped to handle this kind of thing.”

“We’ve done serial cases before.” Morgan said.

“I know.” Erin didn’t want to explode so she just reached down for her purse. She needed a cigarette, not even caring this was going to ruin her two smoke a day habit. “Just get the files together. I need some fresh air.”

“I’ll come with you.” Rossi stood as she moved toward the elevator.

“No, don’t.” she held up her hand, stopping him as he got too close. “Aaron Hotchner’s in Gideon’s office. They're probably reminiscing on past good times. Why don’t you go in and say hello…I know you two are old friends.”

“Erin…”

“Just don’t Rossi, OK?” she stepped into the open elevator. “Just don’t.”

He watched the doors close and the numbers move downward. It was over. Just that fast it was all over. Sighing, Rossi decided he could better use his time helping Derek gather everything they had on the Nichols case. Trips down Memory Lane weren't really his thing anyway.

***

“Did you know that every life lesson could be found in a Billy Joel song?”

Erin smirked as Elle topped off her glass of Moscato. The bar was crowded tonight; it was crowded every night. Still, Erin was getting special attention. She had her own personal bartender tonight and found no room for complaint. After the day she had, she needed that.

“You're skeptical,” She smiled. “I'm being serious though.”

“Well shatter me with your brilliance, oh wise one.”

“It’s not one of those things that’s just explained and accepted. Examples have to be cited.”

“What about the consequences of falling in love with the wrong person?” Erin asked. “What's the song for having a doomed love affair even if it’s only in your thoughts?”

“That’s easy… _A Matter of Trust_.” Elle leaned on the bar to get closer to Erin. She wanted to make sure she heard everything she said over the noise of the music and the crowd.

“I always thought that would be the love that came after the bad relationship.” She replied.

“I really hope you're not talking about us. I'm many things, and been called more than I am, but I've never been doomed.”

Erin smiled. She sipped her drink, let _My Life_ playing over the speakers sink into her soul, and just smiled.

“What we had Elle, is known as layman’s terms as a one-night stand. It was very nice but it wasn’t falling in love.”

“I like to think of it as a one and half night stand. Tell me I didn’t make love to you on that dance floor at Isis.”

Erin rolled her eyes. Elle Greenaway was really something else. She was also something special. Nothing would come of Erin’s moment with her but it was still a moment. She could do it; do something completely unexpected. Perhaps you could teach an old dog new tricks. Just when she thought all hope might be lost…

“It’s hard to fall in love with me anyway when someone else is on your mind.” Elle said. “I can read people, remember?”

“What are you talking about? I'm not in love with anyone. I just had a bad day and I'm indulging you in this conversation. It’s how I get my discount drinks, remember.”

“No, your low-cut tops are how you get your discount drinks, Agent Strauss.”

“Right…my mistake.” She nodded.

“Do you wanna talk about your bad day?” Elle asked.

“No. Well, yes, but I hardly know what to say. I got through it so that’s the good news. There will just be another tomorrow. There's always going to be another case, another criminal, and another crime scene. It’s never going to end. I can't find any time just to be me. I'm struggling to figure out who me is.”

“Every workaholic needs a hobby. What's yours?”

“The quest to get eight hours of sleep.” Erin replied.

“Oh honey,” Elle slipped her hand over Erin’s. “We’ve got to get you one better. Ooh, wait, here comes something.”

“What?” Erin’s eyes followed Elle’s. She groaned as Dave Rossi walked into the bar. He was making a beeline straight for her but was stopped every few paces by someone who knew him and wanted attention. There was nowhere for Erin to escape. If she tried to go out the door then she would just run into him anyway. “Great.”

“You better be nice to him before he makes the main character of his novel ugly.”

“That’s the kind of revenge one doesn’t get to execute often.” Erin said.

“Hey Elle.” Dave approached the bar with a smile. Everyone knew Elle, whether it was from her good days or bad ones. She’d been running the bar for almost eight years now and law enforcement didn’t seem to have a problem hanging out there. It wasn’t exactly a ‘cop joint’; it was a place where all were welcome. People gravitated toward the gorgeous brunette like moths to a flame. That’s what made her so good at what she used to do.

“What’s happening, Shakespeare?” Elle smiled too. “What are you drinking tonight?”

“Johnny Walker neat.”

“You got it.”

She walked away and Dave looked at Erin. She looked at her wine just like that morning in her bedroom when all she could look at was her tea.

“I thought you might be here.” He said.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“I'm listening.”

“I came to say goodbye.”

“What?” now Erin looked at him. That got her full attention. “What are you talking about?”

“The case had been passed off…it’s over.”

“There will be another soon enough. Not to mention the active ones still sitting on my desk. You used to be an agent, Dave; you know there's always more than one case. That’s only how they play it on TV.”

“Yeah, I know. I just got so wrapped up in this case that I've spent the past two months not doing what I'm supposed to be doing.”

“I thought you were supposed to be annoying me.” Erin replied. “Believe me, you’ve done a great job.”

“I was also supposed to be writing, Erin.” He smirked. “I've got some great thoughts on various scraps of paper but nothing concrete. I need to knuckle down and concentrate. I've been distracted.”

“By what?”

Dave didn’t know how to answer that. He thanked Elle when she placed the drink in front of him. Taking a deep breath, Dave sipped the scotch and let it slowly course through his veins. When he looked at Erin this time she was looking back at him.

“I guess I was distracted by being an FBI agent again. I never expected to get so sucked into this case…I wanted to solve it. That didn’t leave a lot of time for making a case up for my novel. I'm leaving so I can do just that. The Deputy Director gave me six months of character study and I've barely used two. I could come back, pick your brain again, but for now I need to take some time and do what they pay me for.”

“I should've known all you wanted was a summer fling.” Erin managed a smile when she said it though she felt sad. “You're the kind to beat a retreat when the leaves change colors.”

“It’s because I don’t have any nice winter clothes.” Dave said. “Don’t tell anyone, OK?”

“It'll just be our secret.” She replied. “Do you really have to go?”

Erin couldn’t believe she’d just asked him that. He wasn’t her partner thought it felt like he was. He was her annoying, brilliant, obnoxious, attractive partner. And now he was walking away. How could she tell him that she wanted him to stay? Dave was a writer and he’d been with her because he was writing a book. Shadowing Erin was supposed to enhance the project, not distract him from it.

“I want to come back after I get some work on the novel done. I'm hoping we can sit down and just talk. Not about the case but…whatever you want to talk about.”

“We’re sitting down right now.” Erin said.

“Not for long; I'm meeting my publicist for a late dinner. I'm out on the road for some speaking engagements in October and November so we have to get some last minute kinks worked out.”

“So this is goodbye?” she asked.

“No.” Rossi shook his head. He didn’t want to say that to her. They’d hardly said hello yet. “This is um, something like see ya around.”

“I don't know, it sounds like goodbye to me. You won't be at the office tomorrow.”

“No, I won't. But I promise we’ll see each other again. I’ll come back and visit and once the book hits shelves you'll be famous. You'll probably never get rid of me then.”

Erin just smiled some as Dave drank the rest of his scotch. He held out his hand.

“Supervisory Special Agent Erin Strauss, it was lovely working with you.”

“Ditto, David.” She shook his hand.

“See ya around.”

Without a second thought, because surely a second thought would have told him not to, Dave leaned over and gave Erin a tentative kiss on the cheek. Then he pulled a ten from his pocket and put it under the empty scotch tumbler. As fast as he came in, he was gone again.

Erin took a deep breath and let out a sigh. Why did all the crap have to happen in one day? And it was a Monday, which made it worse. She had four days left in this week. Four days where she had to act like everything was OK. It wasn’t OK.

She didn’t even know how to make it OK. One minute her life was going one way and the next it was riding off the rails. What was she supposed to do about it? What was she supposed to do about David Rossi, Jason Gideon, Elle Greenaway, Aaron Hotchner, and everything in between? What was she supposed to do about Erin Strauss?

“More wine, barkeep.” She said, waving her hand.

Elle was back in a matter of moments with a bottle of chilled Elmo Pio. She gave Erin a full glass.

“He’s gone?” she asked.

“Yeah.” Erin nodded. “What Billy Joel song can explain that?”

***

She didn’t realize she was asleep until the door buzzing woke her. The Watergate was a secure building so that couldn’t be just anyone at the door. Usually security called up from the lobby to announce people. The regulars could get by with a wave and a smile though. It took a minute for Erin to sit up and get her bearings.

She had no idea what time it was or how she’d been asleep on the couch. It was a stormy Sunday, the last one in August. The Nina Nichols case was over for her but there were plenty more on her plate. Erin spent most of the rest of the week cleaning up though. The paperwork didn’t do itself; that was the uncool stuff they never showed in the movies.

Getting up from the couch, she started shuffling toward the door. She called out that she was coming in case the person decided to walk away. Then she looked out the peephole and smiled. A familiar and always welcome face was out there. She didn’t know why but it was nice nonetheless.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, opening the door.

“I was worried about you.” Sam walked across the threshold and into her condo. “I came to check on you.”

“That’s not your responsibility.” Erin replied. She closed the door and walked with him into the living room.

“What are you talking about? You're a friend, a good friend; it is my responsibility. You're not alright.”

“I'm fine, just really tired.” She sat back down on the couch, patting a space beside her. “I fell asleep on the couch and didn’t even know it.” Erin covered her face. “Shit, I must look a mess.”

She was wearing gray tights and an oversized pink tee shirt. Her hair was up in a messy bun; fuzzy slipper socks on her feet. This was not an Agent Strauss outfit. Erin hadn't even found the energy to put on a bra. Today was one of those rare instances when bumming it was all she could muster.

“You never look a mess.” Sam smiled. “This kind of weather is perfect for taking a nap. Now I feel a little guilty for disturbing you.”

“Good.” Erin couldn’t get it out without laughing. She gently elbowed his side. “I'm kidding. I hope concern for me didn’t drag you away from Jess and the kids.”

“It’s the last week of August; Jessie always goes to her parents’ beach house in Hilton Head. Sometimes I'm lucky enough to tag along for a few days. They left on Friday night and they’re staying till next Tuesday. I’ll be joining them on Thursday evening. I made plans for the whole vacation but we’re backlogged at the office. She's as understanding as always. I still don’t know what I did to deserve her.”

“Oh please, you're amazing Sam. Jessie is a very lucky woman and she knows it. OK, your job hours suck but if they didn’t you'd be perfect. No one is allowed to be perfect.”

“I heard that the BAU took the Nichols case. I did the autopsy on the second victim as well.”

“Same guy?” Erin asked, not really wanting to talk about work.

“Yeah.” he nodded. “I didn’t come here to drag you down with work talk but I know it upset you.”

“It comes with the territory. The sharks eat the smaller fish…shit happens.”

“That’s the second time you’ve said ‘shit’ in five minutes.” Sam replied.

“So?”

“I know you curse when you're upset. Do you even want to talk about it a little bit?”

“Something in that bag you're carrying smells good.” Erin turned the conversation. “What did you bring me?”

He sensed she wanted to talk about it but wouldn’t. He sensed she didn’t even know how to articulate it. Sam had known Erin for a million years and had never seen her go through the motions before. She went through the motions this week. Morgan said he wasn’t sure if she was different since Rossi left or had been different before he came. Still, Erin was off and Sam cared about her. He wanted to help if he could.

“This is hot roast beef.” He said.

“I only like hot roast beef from one place.”

“I know that.”

“Oh my God.” She took the bag. “This is from Krupin’s?”

“Yes.” Sam nodded.

“I love you, and I'm so glad you're here.” Erin kissed his cheek. She got up from the couch and went into the kitchen to prepare it right. You had to respect a Krupin’s sandwich; couldn’t just eat it from a paper bag. “Do you want a beer?”

“Sure.” Sam would have a drink if it got her to talk.

Erin came back, putting the plate on the glass coffee table in front of them. She put the two bottles of Coors Light on coasters.

“Sorry, this is the only beer I have.”

“This is fine. I'm glad I could bring a smile to your face.”

“I'm just tired, Sam. I don’t want you worrying about me, I'm fine. It’s just been so long since I've had a rest. The Dubois case took a lot out of me and then all of a sudden Gideon tells me I'm gonna be shadowed by a writer. As if that wasn’t crazy enough I get a copycat serial killer case dropped in my lap. That put me in the BAU’s crosshairs. I need a vacation.”

“I understand. This year has been busier than any of us expected. You handled being shadowed very well, by the way.”

“How much money did you lose on that bet?” Erin asked with a smirk.

“I won. I said you would handle it with sophisticated grace like you handled everything. I had double or nothing laid down on $25.”

“You always were a sure thing.” Erin smiled, biting into her half of the sandwich. Her smile grew. “Ohhh Sam, mmm…”

“As good as advertised?” he asked smiling.

“Better.” She took another bite.

“Where’s Ted? It’s quiet around here without him.”

The room wasn’t completely quiet. Mouret’s _Rondeau_ , better known as the theme for PBS’s _Masterpiece Theatre_ , played softly from the Bose stereo on the bookshelf. It sounded to Sam as if it might be on repeat. It was surely good music to nap to on a rainy day.

He was a classical music enthusiast; always used it during his autopsies. It helped his concentration. Erin was the one who actually made him love it more than he thought possible. She introduced him to composers and beautiful pieces of music he didn’t know existed before they met.

“He went indoor roller blading with Jordan.” She replied. “After that he said they were going for food and smoothies to discuss the new story they’re working on. He said he’d be home for dinner. I'm just doing my best not to think that Ted’s dating. He’s too young Sam; I'm too young.”

“Tell me about it. I know my boys are just 2 ½ and ten months but I'm already thinking about first days of school and beyond. I'm also thinking about how much I might miss because of my job.”

“Don’t even get me started.” Erin shook her head. She ate more of her sandwich.

The silence between them was comfortable, it always had been. Sam and Erin had been friends since the Academy. They had even dated for a brief period of time but were much better as good pals. Every girl needed a Sam Kassmeyer in her life.

For years, she, Sam, and Aaron Hotchner had been like the Three Musketeers. Then marriage, divorce, and that scary gray area in between tore it all asunder. Lucky for her Sam rarely judged. He managed to maintain close friendships with the both of them even as they drifted further and further apart.

“I miss him.”

“Who?” Sam asked. A part of her thought she was going to say Hotch. Sam was surprised when he realized he would have no idea what to say if she did.

“Rossi.” She sighed. “Everything seemed more adventurous when he was around.”

“He’s still around; he lives in Fairfax.”

“I can't just…he’s a busy man. I don’t want to invade his life.”

“It’s not an invasion for a friend to drop in to say hello. If it is, I'm in serious trouble.”

“I wouldn’t exactly call us friends; Rossi and I that is.”

“Change that.”

“I love how easy you make it sound.” Erin replied.

“Why do you think it’s difficult?” Sam asked. “You’ve never failed at anything you put your mind to. Put your mind to being Rossi’s friend.”

Erin nodded but didn’t say anything. She didn’t want to think about it anymore. It was better to just enjoy her sandwich and the company of a good friend. Today was the first day of a new week; a chance to put things back where they belonged. Erin had tried to be a little something else and it hadn't worked in her favor. Being herself wasn’t so bad.

It was like pulling out a comfortable sweater on cold nights when you felt a little lost. Changing at 43 was ridiculous. She wasn’t the heroine of some mystery novel. She was a real person with real responsibilities. The adventures were over; it was time to come back to the real world. The sun was setting on another summer and it was time to let these thoughts go with it.

***

She thought about it like a stakeout. She’d surely done enough of those in her early days in violent crime not to mess this up. Erin drove around the block only once. Doing it more so would’ve drawn suspicion and you didn’t draw suspicion on a stakeout. He was home so she parked her car, a silver BMW, a few houses away.

The house she parked in front of was empty. Erin knew because this was not the kind of day where you would be closed in the house if you were there. It was gorgeous, and so many had already gone off to celebrate the last of the summer holidays. The whole neighborhood smelled like cut grass and grilled meat; it smelled like the suburbs. A few hundred yards away, a group of boys with one little girl were tossing a Nerf ball back and forth.

Erin remembered those days of playing with her male cousins. Her grandmother never liked her fencing. She thought it was a men’s sport and Erin should enjoy more feminine endeavors like badminton or ballet. She knew badminton was the second most played sport in the world but Erin was still short on knowing anyone who actually played it seriously.

Bringing her thoughts back into the present, she wasn’t even sure if she wanted to get out of the car. What would she do? What would she say? If she was going to talk to a witness or shake down a suspect, Erin would have no problem. Those things came naturally, like the debating and the fencing.

But this was something else altogether. This was Erin, stripped bare and she didn’t know what to do. She kept thinking about what Sam said; change that. He made it seem so simple when to her it was anything but. If only there was someone she could go to for advice.

The people she trusted with her deepest thoughts and feelings, her father and Jason, didn’t need to know about this. Erin didn’t want to be judged. She didn’t want to be talked out of it. Some things you just had to do on your own and land where you landed. She hoped it wouldn’t be her ass or flat on her face. She could handle anything but that.

Taking one last deep breath, Erin got out of the car and walked down the street. It was a beautiful day and the sun felt good on her skin. The rain had receded just in time for the last of the summer. When she came to his house, she saw him in the garage tinkering with that motorcycle. A big brown dog caught sight of her as she turned and walked up the cobblestone driveway.

He barked, it was a happy sound and not ominous, before running toward her. Erin froze inside though her legs were still moving. She didn’t know whether to turn and retreat or what. She was patently not a dog person. At first Dave didn’t even look up from what he was doing but she let out a noise of fear when the dog came up and put his paws on her chest. That got his attention.

“Hey Mudge,” his voice was casual as if this wasn’t life or death. “Get down. Mudgie, get down.”

The dog obeyed his master as Dave made his way out of the garage and over to where she stood. Erin was sure she was shaking all over but it wasn’t for the same reasons it was when she got out of her car. He wiped his greasy hands on his jeans.

“Hi.” He said, wearing a smile. “Sorry about the dog, but he’s friendly I promise.”

The dog, now known to her as Mudgie, barked to prove Dave’s point.

“I'm not a dog person.” She replied.

“Mudgie makes everybody a dog person. Right bud?” he petted the dog’s gigantic head.

“What kind of dog is he? Erin asked.

“A Chesapeake Bay retriever.” Dave said. “He's a hunting dog.”

“You hunt?”

“I shoot birds, sometimes duck. It’s relaxing. Mudgie tags along to splash through water and collect my kills. Other than that, he's kinda useless.” Dave smiled when he said it and Erin knew that he didn’t mean it. “Have you ever gone hunting?”

“I went on a foxhunt once with my cousins when we visited northern England. I’m good on a horse but 20 men and 15 dogs chasing a poor, defenseless fox offended my sensibilities. I was eight years old.”

“I can imagine how cute you were then; offended sensibilities and all.”

“My left front tooth was missing that summer.” Erin said.

“You're getting cuter by the minute.”

She smiled, not sure what to say next. She was here, Erin had made it that far, now what?

“I want her to be a fencer, David.” She said.

“Who?”

“This character, whoever she is. I want her to be a fencer…maybe it’ll get readers into the sport.”

“I don’t know a lot about it.” he replied. “I might have to pick your brain some.”

“That'll be OK,” she nodded. “I know how important authenticity is to you.”

“She doesn’t even have a name yet.”

“I thought you left us so that you could write.” Erin said. “How can she not have a name? Have you written anything?”

“Come into the house; its strange talking out in the driveway.”

Erin followed him and the dog into a large ranch house. The living room and dining room were very modern. Blacks, glass, woods, leather, and the occasional maroon thrown in for splashy color covered everything in her sight. The den however was more rustic. The furniture looked as if Rossi built it himself, and Erin wasn’t sure that he hadn't.

Just that one room looked like a comfy log cabin. Dave told her to have a seat. She did as he went into the kitchen. The dog sat nearby and just stared at her. When Dave came back he gave her a glass of lemonade before sitting down on the couch.

“I like your house.” She said.

“Thanks. It’s my sanctuary; every room has something I need at any given time.”

“Where do you do your writing?”

“I have a small office in the back where I keep my laptop.” He replied. “Most of the dreaming takes place right here though. This room is my heaven.”

“So, your main character doesn’t have a name yet?”

“No. Other characters do but she doesn’t. I've been writing Erin in the spaces so I won't be clueless to what's going on later. She needs her own name though.”

“Well, what's she like?” Erin asked.

“She's like you. Well, she’s how I see you…most parts of her are anyway. She also has pieces of my mother, my first ex-wife, and a girl I used to love when I was a little boy. Most of her, though, is you. It’s only fair that you should name her.”

“I wouldn’t even know where to begin with something like that.”

“When you were a little girl did you ever want another name?” Dave asked.

“I think every little girl did. I had a swashbuckling alter-ego who was a female pirate…oh my God,” Erin covered her eyes. “I can't believe I just told you that.”

“What was her name?”

“Her name was Blythe. I chose it because my father read me Mutiny on the Bounty when I was a girl and I wanted to be the captain of my own ship. So when we played, I became Blythe.”

“Would you mind if…?”

“No,” Erin shook her head as she sipped her lemonade. “It would be very nice.”

“Well, I'm one step ahead now instead of one step behind. We’ll see how this bit of information goes over when I sit in front of…”

“I miss you.” she said. “I thought about beating around the bush but why, I hate that. I miss you and I know that you're not coming back to the FBI, you shouldn’t but…”

“But what?” Dave asked.

“I miss you.”

“I got that part.” He smiled.

“Do you miss me?” Erin wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the answer. If it wasn’t what she wanted then her reaction would be out of her hands. She didn’t like it when things were out of her hands.

“More than I can tell you. Do you have plans for the holiday weekend?”

“I'm free as a bird. I'm gonna be free for a while.” Erin said.

“What do you mean?”

“I've requested a leave of absence from the Bureau. I’m taking some time off just for me and won't be returning until January. Remember when you said that I never took a sick day? You were right and I was working myself into the ground. I love my job, truly, but I can't let it kill me. I have to walk away for a while to remember why I'm there in the first place.”

Dave didn’t know what to say. He never expected to hear something like that. Yet he was sure it was a good idea. Erin Strauss was an excellent FBI agent but no one could keep running as fast as she did without burning out. He knew the Nina Nichols case was her breaking point.

While Dave hoped the BAU solved it to bring closure to the loved ones, he saw how hard Erin worked with what she had. The case always came first for her and that was a noble thing. It was also an exhausting thing. He knew from experience.

“What are you going to do with all that time off?” he asked.

“I'm not entirely sure but I know what I want to do to start.”

“What?”

“I was a bit tipsy at the time and I'm not sure if I'm recalling it correctly but someone asked me once if I ever wanted to know what it felt like to fly. The answer is yes.”

“Where do you want to fly to?” Dave asked.

“I don’t care, David, I just want to go.”

“Ted’s gonna be OK if we leave?”

“He’s with Jonny for a four day weekend of vampire movies and emo Brit pop. I told him I was taking a little time off with a friend. He told me to tell you hi.”

“I really like your kid.” He smiled.

“I really like you. I don’t know if that means we’re bound to succeed or doomed to failure but…”

“Don’t.” he leaned over and put his finger on her lips. “You’ve gotta live it Erin, not run the many worst-case scenarios through your head until you talk yourself out of it. It would be an honor for me to give you even a handful of happiness. I want any time you're with me to be looked back on fondly.”

“I think I need to look directly in front of me for a little while.” Erin replied.

“What do you see?”

“You.”

“I can't promise you the book will have this kind of happy ending.” Dave said.

“That’s OK; I already know you'll write a sequel.”

***


End file.
